We've all been there:
"Whew! Do NOT go in there! YEOW!"
"Oh, my God! Did you do this?! Did you do THIS?!"
"That wasn't me!"
And the classic:
"I don't remember eating that!"
I am referring to the humanity-sharing experience of visiting a washroom/toilet/water closet of your choosing, and discovering that the odorous environment is about a million years separated from the pleasant smells after a Spring shower.
Once regarded as a necessary evil - because when you gotta go, you gotta go - and sometimes you don't have a choice of, er, venue, it was also a given that the invisible, malodorous enemy you had to share the stall with was anything but pleasant.
That has changed now, thanks to Covid-19.
Once a self-made prison while our bowels did their business, people everywhere are realizing that the bathrooms in public areas such as stores, shopping malls, libraries, offices, and yes, even gas stations, have become a welcome respite and excuse to remove the damn masks we're all forced to wear, and take a nice, big, breath of...'fresh air'.
A study published by Professor Yik Snarch, of Big Important University of That City, has shown that an amazing 98.74656% of men and women whip that suffocating cloth off of their faces so that they can finally breath 'normally', even if the air is rank with the funky, noxious smell of last night's Taco Bell and Buffalo chicken wings.
"More und more zat is where zee people are getting the shmelly air, vhich ist preferable to zee prevention of da breathing normally, ja?" reported the professor's grandmother, as the professor was too shy to speak in public.
"Ee's zuch a goot boy! Alvays in zee batroom, wit da shience and da cameras for his shience projections!" she added, proudly.
So, next time you need to 'do your business', 'take a leak', 'feed your giraffe', or whatever, rip that mask off and breath deeply all of that 'fresh air'!
Professor Snarch's reputation is at stake here, people!
