Associated Press, November 15, 2020: President Trump’s personal attorney, Rudolph Giuliani, told reporters today that he had overwhelming evidence that the November 3rd presidential election had been rigged.
“Scientists,” he claimed, “had detected a burst of radiation from outer space” that was aimed at voting machines “all over the planet,” which caused them to falsely register votes for Biden instead of Trump. Fox News commentator Laura Ingraham was quick to endorse this theory, stating in a tweet that “everyone knows that aliens from Mars will bring crime and disease to our heartland.” Senator Lindsay Graham urged President Trump to immediately mobilize the recently formed United States Space Force to “neutralize this menace.” Demonstrators in San Antonio, Texas carried placards that stated, “BIDEN-HARRIS PLOT ALIEN PODS.”
The Union of Concerned Scientists put out a press release stating that the energy burst which Giuliani referred to came from the galaxy Messier 49 located in the constellation Virgo, some 55.9 million light years from Earth. “It is inconceivable that an alien civilization could have aimed something at our planet intended to disrupt our elections approximately 55 million years before human beings emerged on Earth,” the release stated. A Gallup poll of 750 registered voters found that 75% of republicans believed that aliens did, in fact, manipulate the presidential election.