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Education Professors Get Into Massive Fight

Funny story: Education Professors Get Into Massive Fight

Dickmouth University. Violence erupted during a department meeting on the 4th floor of Krapper Hall last Wednesday when two Education Professors got into a massive fight over certain proposed curriculum changes for the current 2018-2019 school year.

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7 Things Your Academic Advisor Will Probably Never Tell You

Do you ever take some time to notice that all of the people who treated you poorly and screwed you over in the past have ended up happy? Do you ever ask yourself how it’s possible that they now have fulfilling careers and lives that are characterized by warmth, affection, purpose, meaning, and unconditional love while you’re still miserable, lonely, and struggling to get through life? Have y...

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Trump Awarded Honorary Degree by University of Phoenix

Funny story: Trump Awarded Honorary Degree by University of Phoenix

Last week, the widely-reputed online educational institution the University of Phoenix awarded President Donald Trump an honorary Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology. “I'm thrilled,” stated President Trump. “Private online education is the wave o...

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Lessons Cancelled Due To Sports Day Cheering Practice

Funny story: Lessons Cancelled Due To Sports Day Cheering Practice

Afternoon lessons at a school in the Thai capital of Bangkok were summarily cancelled ALL LAST WEEK, after they fell victim to the notoriously-loud activity of Cheering Practice, in preparation for the School Sports Day, which will take place on Mond...

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Some Teachers Actually Go into Teaching for the Money

Funny story: Some Teachers Actually Go into Teaching for the Money

Apparently, it's the result of low expectations and outright confusion. "I used to work in Walmart," said one untenured teacher, two years into the profession. "I get at least twice the pay, but I also don't get the 5% discount, so it's a wash. I...

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Monkeys are to be employed as parental guidance officers in India!

Funny story: Monkeys are to be employed as parental guidance officers in India!

The Indian government have decided to introduce new legislation pertaining to bringing up children by employing monkeys in nurseries, nationwide. After discovering a young girl who was raised by primates in the Uttar Pradesh jungle, a la Mowgli wi...

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Teenager Failing Math Blamed for China's Superior Economy

Funny story: Teenager Failing Math Blamed for China's Superior Economy

Brian Mahoney, 8th grader at Phillipson elementary school in Phillipson Pa. has been failing or nearly failing Math for 6 consecutive quarters leading to China's overwhelming economic superiority. "I just really suck at math" Brian stated i...

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Trump People To Promote Anti-Science Beliefs In Schools

Funny story: Trump People To Promote Anti-Science Beliefs In Schools

NEW YORK TIMES by Elmer Gantry Donald Trump has appointed Betsy DeVos, who is dedicated to undermining and eliminating the public school system as the secretary of education. She is a fundamentalist Christian member of a Protestant denomin...

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Trump trading the Electoral College to Vladimir Putin

Funny story: Trump trading the Electoral College to Vladimir Putin

Trump Tower, New York -- In a move filled with more irony than even Anthony Weiner can contemplate, presidential elect Donald Trump plans to sell America's Electoral College to the Russians as soon as he takes office next month. "The Electoral Col...

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The American Dream Is Now The American Reality TV Show

Funny story: The American Dream Is Now The American Reality TV Show

There's a new flavor of the month reality show coming out every day and it's called America. Citizens are really excited because they have more opportunities to sit on the couch eating dictator tots, while watching the fly by lies become the truth ri...

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Brown Student Calls in Gas Leak to Avoid Test

PROVIDENCE, RI-In a desperate attempt to get out of taking her Political Science test, a junior at Brown University called in a false report about a gas leak at 10:06 AM. The student, Joan Collins, then pulled the fire alarm, causing the entire b...

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The Up-Side of Outsourcing

Funny story: The Up-Side of Outsourcing

Globalization and the automation and outsourcing of jobs has caused US unemployment to rise. Since NAFTA was signed, the Glass-Steigal act was repealed and the youth of America have become apathetic little narcissists who deserve everything just hand...

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Pheonix University Now Offering Online Kindergarten

Funny story: Pheonix University Now Offering Online Kindergarten

Pheonix, AZ - The world's biggest web-based University is expanding to meet new market demands, now offering online classes for all ages. "Our studies found there is a very real demand to leave your toddler in front of a computer screen for at le...

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The Emperor's New Academy

"Boo-hoo", screamed the tantrum-prone emperor at his education secretary. "I want a new school that no other emperors have, even if there is no empirical evidence that it works. "Of course your majesticness", the emperor's education secretary grovell...

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Should Elected Politicians Be Addressed as THE HONORABLE?

Funny story: Should Elected Politicians Be Addressed as THE HONORABLE?

No, no, a thousand times NO! Too many of them are total scumbags -- treating their spouses and/or partners like dirt, accepting and/or making illegal bribes, appropriating campaign cash for their own use, not keeping their campaign promises, etc. When I was in grammar school, we practiced writing letters to elected public officials and were always instructed to address them as THE HONORABLE...

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The Case Against Education- Part 6: Administration

ADMINISTRATION Crimes of the educational establishment are planned and perpetrated by wicked weasels who can't get real jobs like responsible adults, so they make a career out of exploiting helpless little children who are victims at the mercy of these despicable administrators. Out of all the people in society school administrators are on the biggest power trip because they have hundreds of st...

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The Case Against Education- Part 3: Tests

TESTS The term "test" is derived from the root word "testicle", because it is a ball-busting challenge for students. The mere thought about taking a test induces feelings of stress and anxiety which can weaken the immune system and lead to serious illness and even suicide. Teachers know this and use tests as a subtle, yet sadistic, form of torture. Some days when they are in a good mood they wi...

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The Case Against Education- Part 2: Curriculum

CURRICULUM The subject matter of a course is like the dogma of a religion. Students are indoctrinated with propaganda disguised as factual information. From the start of school in the morning they are made to memorize mass amounts of data which they forget by the end of the day. The typical curriculum is a structured lesson plan to help facilitate the process of brainwashing students in an orde...

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Breaking news…

Sales blames ring for illness

Boston Red Sox baseball player "Lefty" Sales said his cock ring made him sick. "It turned my penis green," he said. "My girlfriend paid for gold, but obviously, the jeweler sold her brass."
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