It's been a noteworthy and somewhat surprising day in the world of penmanship, and, after the Nobel Prize for Literature was awarded to US poet Louise Gluck, there was an even bigger shock when the prize for Shiterature went to the English spoof scribbler, Moys Kenwood.
Kenwood, 57, is the man behind the shittiest shit stories ever written on satirical news website TheSpoof.com, and his shitty efforts over the past 14 years have, at last, been recognized with this award.
Notably shitty contributions during what he calls his Brown Period started with Man Has A Shit At Friend's Home - Blocks Toilet, a self-explanatory story, if ever there was one.
Then, Man's Huge Shit Blocks Toilet During Girlfriend's Visit To Condo, the 2014 story about how a man who had invited his then-girlfriend back to his condo to discuss world events, had ruined the evening by attempting to drop his 'filthy payload' whilst she waited patiently in the next room, furthered his reputation as a writer of absolute shite.
In May 2018, Man Delayed Flight By Taking A Dump served only to cement his reputation as a 'serious shit' writer.
Other terrible stories such as the one about how the final sprint in the Belfast Marathon was ruined, and the extraordinarily-shit August 2020 effort about how a Conger Eel was discovered in a man's bathroom, have made him a shithousehold name that just won't go round the U-bend.
Kenwood was said to be elated after the announcement, but unable to make an immediate comment, due to being temporarily indisposed.
A stupid comment is expected later today, such as:
"I'm flushed with delight!"
