Spoof Site Owner To Try New Idea With Top Writers Chart

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 17 September 2020

image for Spoof Site Owner To Try New Idea With Top Writers Chart
It might look interesting, the other way up!

The owner of a forward-thinking satirical news website is toying with the idea of making a major change to the site's ranking system, which places writers in a chart showing who the most-read contributors are.

He's thinking of turning it upside-down.

Mark Lowton, who runs The Spoof, says he's trying to make the site more accessible, and more rewarding for new writers, who often find their meagre efforts score only a handful of points, which leaves them languishing at the foot of the chart.

Currently, the top three writers in the chart are:

1 - Abel Rodriguez
2 - Monkey Woods
3 - Dewani Unhatched

and, at the bottom of the chart, are the stragglers:

40 - Prav Jagwani
41 - American Goldilocks
42 - Thelonius

The consequences of the planned upheaval, then, would be that Thelonius with his paltry 3 points would leap to the top of the rankings, whilst Mr. Rodriguez would sink, somewhat ignominiously to the bottom.

That's 'the bottom' as in 'the foot', rather than 'the anus', although some might say that the latter might show that there is some kind of divine justice at work, after all.

Some have suggested that at least one writer on the site writes only to maintain a position, and has cobbled together an ever-increasing catalogue of 'nothingness', words following words following words, without so much of a trace of anything that might raise a titter.

Mr. Thelonius said:

"It's great news! I'm delighted, but not quite as delighted as others might be were they to regain what they would, no doubt, humble themselves into giving an arm and a leg for."

Site owner Lowton was keeping his cards close to his chest, but said:

"The world appears to have been tipped upside-down at the moment, so we might try and freshen some things up with the chart as well."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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