Nobel Peace Prize A Bit Different Next Year

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 14 September 2020

image for Nobel Peace Prize A Bit Different Next Year
Lots of peas earlier

Nothing stays the same forever, even the Alfred Nobel Peace Prize, which, next year, will be adapted slightly, so that recognition can be awarded to those hardworking people who slave away in the manufacturing and processing plants at some of the big pea companies.

The Nobel Peas Prize will seek to shine the spotlight on individuals who don't normally receive much in the way of a slap on the back. Not jumped-up politicians who don't know their arses from their elbows, and who swan around from one podium to the next, mechanically reading out speeches that someone else has written, then claiming the plaudits as the listeners give standing ovations.

No, not them. We're talking about people that make a difference; people who knuckle down at the sharp end; people who give us all what we really want; people who put food on the table.

In short, people who put peas on the table.

Producers of all kinds of peas will be elligible for nomination, including Avalanche Peas, Spring Peas, Snow Peas, Snowbirds, Sugar Snaps, Sugar Daddies, Sugar Titties, Gray Sugars, Lincolns, Little Marvels, Maestros, Master Bators, Misty Shells, Pee Peas, Wando, Wango and Wanko Peas, ordinary Garden Peas, and Mushy Peas.

But not The Black-Eyed Peas or Herpes.

Nominations should be made at the Customer Services area of your local supermarket.

A spokesman for the Nobel Foundation said:

"We have to adapt with the times."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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