Spoof Writers United In Support For Trump

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Sunday, 27 September 2020

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Dr. Billingsgate, I Presume

BILLINGSGATE POST: With the nomination of Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court by President Trump yesterday, a number of Spoof writers who had previously dismissed Trump as a bad dream, overcame their distaste for him and jumped on Trump’s bandwagon with all four feet.

Dr. Billingsgate was surprised by the results of a recent poll of Spoof writers conducted by his eponymously named firm, The Billingsgate Institute. Of the forty-six writers who currently hold status in the Top Writers Chart, not one said he(she) would vote for Sleepy Joe. In betting circles, this is known as a mortal lock.

What would explain such a tidal change? Invincible ignorance, possibly. This term was used in Mayan moral theology to refer to the state of persons (such as Christian infidels) who were ignorant of the Mayan message because they had not yet had an opportunity to hear it.

[Long before the Spanish Conquistadors conquered the Mayans and stole their gold, Mayans were tossing babies off cliffs to please their gods. High Chief Hokum, who studied theology under St. Thomas Aquinas, stole a page from The Summa Theologica, claiming that Christians were incapable of understanding human sacrifice, but due to invincible ignorance, their gods would forgive them.]

Chief Hokum would certainly understand why the sudden change of heart. Ignorance has never been a means of grace or salvation, not even for the inculpably ignorant people that might vote for Biden. Saint Thomas Aquinas agrees. He said that God in His mercy will lead these souls to the knowledge of the necessary truths, even send them an angel, if necessary, to instruct them.

Slim: “Dr. Billingsgate, I presume, is that angel.“

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Your understanding of the unknowable is incomprehensible.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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