Washington D.C.; President Trump was furious upon learning the Congressman Jerry Nadler defecated on live TV yesterday. It’s rumored that he wanted the flags flown upside down at the Capitol building, but feared it might send the wrong message about his presidency.
Reading from a prepared note, he addressed the press room yesterday evening. ‘Yesterday, Jerry Nadler, acting with deliberate, wonton intent, disgraced our beloved country in the most craven way imaginable.‘
Off record, he noted how the ‘attack’ had traumatized his children, grandchildren and son-in-law. "Kushner is medicated. We’re keeping him in a wheelchair for his safety. He’s never been that great at some things, he’s very weak if you wanna know the truth, but he’s Ivank’s husband so you know he’s great.... a terrific guy."
The President wanted to bring special attention to a VIP guest who was backstage at the time. ‘A lovely, dear friend of mine, Savannah King. She’s one tough cookie. I’ve known her for years seeing her at Mar-Lago. She was back stage when it happened. I mean, I was trying to be an optimist, you know at least crazy Nancy (Pelosi) was first to lean in and get whiff.... but when I heard about Savannah, that really hit me hard. I saw pictures of her being put on a stretcher.... she was in shock, you know... I mean, still. Even lying there, she looked perfect, wearing a tailored blouse... suit... woman suit, whatever it’s called. She even had on one of those Gucci face masks! They cost thousands and thousands of dollars. Now she’s under sedation because of those filthy Democrats. It’s not her first time being attacked this way. The Secret Service tells me a bunch of Democrat activists attacked a church in a similar way doing a Nadler all over the church floor right in front of her, and another time, there is an illegal alien who did a Nadler in the floor of a restaurant where she was dining! The Democrat party loves this stuff. They’re literally worse than animals! People need to know the filthy vile Democrat party used American tax money so that horrible filthy Nadler could do what he did. Like the China virus, he knew it was there and could’ve held it, in but he let it out anyway...."