“No worries, I got this,” says Coronavirus germ left in charge of White House as President is in quarantine.

Funny story written by Nick Combs

Friday, 2 October 2020

image for “No worries, I got this,” says Coronavirus germ left in charge of White House as President is in quarantine.

Washington D.C. The dramatic news, last night, that President Trump’s close advisor, Hope Hicks, has contracted the Coronavirus, has led to the President and others to self-isolate. Considering the news, the White House has been placed under the care of the SARS-CoV-2. Given that Covid-19 has outlasted several White House staffers, it seems natural that the virus should manage the oval office while the President is away.

“I am looking forward to this opportunity to know everyone in this wonderful place” the respiratory virus gleefully stated. “The history, the culture, the power, and all these wonderful people here are at my disposal. I promise my time here will be unforgettable. I am so glad Hope invited me here!”

An anonymous source close to the matter states that Covid’s vitality and ability to reach anyone anywhere makes it a perfect choice to manage the White House. “The President feels that Coronavirus is a trusting and powerful member of the White House inner circle. You can see that President Trump is very comfortable speaking to the virus without a mask and wishes everyone would follow his example.”

Since coming last night, Covid-19 has wasted no time in understanding the layout of the executive’s home. Following the arrival, staff has eagerly sanitized the White House, while the President is currently performing a routine inspection of the bunker. Covid adds “I am so flattered that everyone has made me feel welcomed by preparing my stay. I am surprised how I was an unknown somebody last year, to becoming the most viral sensation America has ever seen! I may not be the most experienced at altering government policy. However, no worries, I got this! I intend for America and the world to remember my contributions to society.”

At the time of publishing, reports have stated that Covid will soon address the nation. Rumored details will include easing of public gathering restrictions, continuing the administration’s plan of repealing Obamacare, the economic guide for 2021, and how the free world will be changed forever.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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