CLEVELAND – (Satire News) – The first of, hopefully, only one presidential debate finally took place, and as Jefferson Sierra with National Focus Magazine said, it was one uncontrolled dumpster fire.
Moderator Chris Wallace should have had both participants wired, so that when they failed to obey his command to stop yelling, he could have zapped them with 50 volts.
As expected, Trump conducted himself like the schoolyard bully that he loves portraying.
Comedian Zydeco Dupree quickly gave him a new nickname: “The Interrupter-in-Chief”.
Joe Biden showed some tremendous restraint as POTUS constantly talked over him, and twice came close to actually biting him.
Afterwards, Trump told the news reporters that he did not mean to refer to them as fake news, but quickly added, that if the truth hurts, that’s too damn bad.
Trump noted that he did make points with American males by saying that he and only he is responsible for baseball, basketball, football, and fencing going on as normal.
The President, who is now the official spokesman for Goya Beans, was told, just minutes before the start of the debate, that he could not wear his red Goya Beans Are Yummy cap.
After the debate, Chris Wallace was reportedly treated for extreme exhaustion, fatigue, dehydration, dizziness, and diarrhea.