Man Has Been Invited To House Party Tomorrow Morning

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 10 September 2020

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Morning! Would you like some piss-weak beer on your Corn Flakes?

A man who has any number of things that he'd much rather be doing instead, has received an invitation to attend a 'New House' party tomorrow morning, starting at 8 o'clock.

The new house in question belongs to the Cambodian brother-in-law of Moys Kenwood, 57, and his wife. The brother-in-law's wife, that is; not Kenwood's.

The Englishman approaches events such as these with a certain amount of trepidation.

Loud music is usually involved, which isn't a bad thing, but the music itself consistently is.

With the music, goes dancing. This, however, is not the kind of dancing one might experience at a party in the western world. Not unless, in the western world, one gently sways one's arms, making slow, jerky movements of the wrist, whilst ambling slowly around a decrepit, old, circular wooden table.

Beer will be on the menu. Yes, it's an early start, but the early bird catches the worm, and worms will, almost certainly, also be on the menu.

Cambodian beer is weak, but so is the ability of the average Cambodian to stay sober, and it's a near-guarantee that several people will already be puking their guts up by 9 o'clock.

Said Kenwood:

"There's one thing in our favor: it's the rainy season, and we might get a huge downpour during the event. Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope so."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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