I wanna go to a metal party Bang my head, love the dead Drink a little Jack Get a tattoo Wear a lotta black Find a white trash screw Heavy metal vomit party Is where I wanna be To let my hair hang loose And let my anger run free If I can’…
Her parents were away for the weekend and she thought it would be a great way to enhance her chances of being elected Prom Queen, so MTG decided to throw a party with the theme LGBTQs. Unfortunately for her, only a dozen people showed up, and two of…
Are you ready to PARTY! Let’s get this party started right! Ah yeah, all you cats and kittens, ready to climb outa your litter boxes, throw those masks away, tell the leaders of the world to suck it – it’s time to get funky! And where is the be…
No parties were held at Downing Street after last week’s vote of no confidence in his leadership, according to Prime Minister Boris Johnson. Reports of beer pong, strippers and drunken renditions of Yellow Submarine following the ballot last Monday h…
A jubilee party in Chutney on the Fritz was as much of a disaster as everyone thought it was going to be. Brian Asshat threw a lot of his shoes at people for no apparent reason, spoiling the punch bowl and the trifle in the process. Thomas Johnson…
A woman has decided to give up work for the whole of May and sit on her arse drinking Lambritzi and pink gin, we can reveal. Kylie Slackbucket, 31, of Spodbury, decided to take action because, 'Well, it's all just one long Bank Holiday when you th…
After a series of embarrassing gaffes, the conservative party is looking for a new party planner. ‘Gosh, I want the party planner that Prince Andrew had when he had that gathering at Pizza Express in Woking. He must be really good, I mean it was i…
Having not learnt some important lessons this week, about being seen to do the right thing, the Conservative Party are now inviting conservative party donors to a Pimm's and Croquet evening in Downing Street. Conservative Spokesman Sanctimonious G…
The Government has issued a statement today saying nothing had been 'going on' and if there was they didn't know about it. The Prime Minister's (latest) spokesman said, 'It wasn't him, and it definitely wasn't me. I've only been in this job twent…
Conservative Minister Giving Up has said that it wasn't a party at no 10, because Liz Truss wasn't there. 'We all know' said Minister Up 'that it is not a party until Liz Truss is there. She is the life and soul of any social gathering. I mean, I…
A man who has any number of things that he'd much rather be doing instead, has received an invitation to attend a 'New House' party tomorrow morning, starting at 8 o'clock. The new house in question belongs to the Cambodian brother-in-law of Moys…
A man who has been suffering mental torture during the Coronavirus Lockdown, has told how he was so desperate for a chance to get out of his own house this morning, that he decided to go to the funeral of a woman he had never heard of. Moys Kenwoo…
A man who didn't particularly want to attend a wedding party next door to his home tonight, has revealed how he spent all day praying for a torrential downpour of rain so that the event would have to be called off. Moys Kenwood, 57, has already be…
MIAMI – People who are following the orders to shelter-in-place and stay-at-home, have just found a way to get together with relatives, friends, neighbors, and love interests. Noted party planner, Lucy Bogart, who is known in high society circles...
DALLAS – A Dallas Cowboys insider has said that Cowboys owner, Jerry Jones, is very angry at two of his top players. It seems that quarterback, Dak Prescott, threw a big party for some close friends and neighbors, knowing full well that Jones had...
PALM BEACH, Florida – Members of the C-19 Exploratory Task Force have just discovered that there are traces of COVID-19 located in seven different areas of the president’s Dixieland White House, Mar-a-Lago. One of the C-19 ETF members divulged, in...
A man who felt as if he'd seen and been through it all before, was subjected to another terrible ordeal on Saturday night, as he was made to accompany his wife to a wedding party in their neighborhood. Moys Kenwood, 56, would have preferred to hav...
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