Gary Glitter Leader Of The Gang At Last

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 14 August 2020

image for Gary Glitter Leader Of The Gang At Last
An extremely poor likeness of Glitter, but the best I could find

Gary Glitter, the former glam rock star, who had a string of hit singles in the 1970s, before turning into an international botherer of children in the pædophilic sense, has finally realised one of his long-held ambitions: to be the leader of a gang.

Glitter, real name Paul Francis Gadd, who is now 76 years old, was sentenced to 16 years in prison in 2015 for offences relating to children.

Since starting his sentence, Glitter has adapted well to the prison's regime. Initially daunted by his surroundings, he kept himself to himself, but, as time passed, he came out of his shell, and started to associate with other inmates.

When Glitter discovered the other prisoners had been sentenced for offences similar to his own, he relaxed a little, and soon conceived the idea of 'a comeback' of sorts, reviving his 1972 hit 'I'm the Leader of the Gang'.

Officers at the jail say that, every morning, from around 7am until 11am, and in the afternoons, between 2pm and 5pm, there is a choir practice during which the establishment reverberates with a cacaphony of sound:

Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!
Come on!
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!
Come on!
D'y'wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang?
D'y'wanna be in my gang? Oh ye-ea-ah!
D'y'wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang?
D'y'wanna be in my gang? OH YEAH!

The whole jail, including the officers, then joins in with the chorus:

Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!
Come on!

Glitter has confided in members of staff at the prison, that he intends to return to the pop music scene when he has completed his sentence.

The Glitter Band were unavailable for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more