Shopper Unsure About Woman's Name In Song

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 28 August 2020

image for Shopper Unsure About Woman's Name In Song
Tom Jones earlier

A man who was shopping in a market became confused when he heard a song being belted out from overhead loudspeakers, but couldn't accurately decipher the name of the woman the singer was singing about.

Moys Kenwood, 57, was browsing around the central market in Battambang, looking at nothing in particular, when he heard the familiar strains of the Welsh croonist, Tom Jones, reverberating under the corrugated iron roof.

This roof did nothing for the sound quality, distorting it beyond belief, and was, thought Kenwood, an acoustic disaster.

He said:

"The song was familiar from when I was a kid, but I didn't know whether the woman he was singing to was called 'Delilah', or whether he was singing 'Dear Lilah'. It was impossible to tell."

The situation was made even worse by hundreds of people, men and women, market workers and shoppers, who raucously broke into song whenever the chorus was reached. Some sang:

"Why, why, why, Delilah?"

whilst others amongst them belted out:

"Why, why, why, dear Lilah?"

This was followed by dozens of women throwing their grimy underwear into the air.

Music experts later confirmed that the name of the woman in the song is actually 'Delilah', though they conceded it was quite difficult to tell, if you were, in any way, uncertain.

The next song to play was Engelbert Humperdinck's 1966 blockbuster, 'Please Regrease Me, Let Me Grow'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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