Do you wear a jacket that’s just plain and boring, no advertisements to your greatness pinned to your chest for all the world to see and fear?
Well, now, tin soldiers in Oz, (aka, the Chinese and North Korean militaries – way high up, where they don’t get shot at or even wipe their own asses) can show you how to be a big man.
Warning: if you have too many medals (as pictured above) you may fall over. If you do, like a turtle, you may not be able to get back up. If so, perhaps some of your friends with lots of tin on their chests will take your hand and pull. Unless, of course, the bastards steal your medals while you’re helpless!
In Oz, there are many imaginary beings, some of them scary and frivolous, who have done nothing to deserve so many medals, which then begs the question to the grunts: why even be in this man’s army if the generals are giving each other tin reach-arounds without even inviting you skinny ass to the party!
When you become big and fat and useless, reward yourself with shields of gold!
