The Chinese are small people with big dreams. In a fistfight, not many of them can lick a Swede (oh my, can I lick a Swede?). But they like to watch those who can – big muthas with big muscles bouncing each other all over a ring, jumping off the top rope, doing the “Hammer Slammer” on their opponents. Even black guys! Are there black people in China? Asking for a friend.
So the World Wrestling Federation is heading to China! There, the tiny Chinese fascist scum of the Commie Party will watch large muscular men get all sweaty and bouncy until one lays (lies? Gets laid? The English language is hard! Like American muscle!) on top of the other and a referee bangs and bangs and bangs his hand against the mat, and maybe somebody wins, but who really cares?
Then the Chinese will implant the wrestlers with a microchip that commands them to love and praise all things Chinese, and to kiss Prez Xi’s big fat toe and call him the “strongest and mightiest warrior of all”.
North Korea is also thinking about importing American wrestling, since Kim Jong Whatshisface is approximately 3 feet tall, but is mighty enough to stand on five phone books at once!
