MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - A reporter with The Lighhouse Press News Agency, Skippy Viperwater is reporting that a Mar-a-Lago employee talked to him and informed him that The Trumpturd groped her and tried to touch her pussy.
Viperwater asked the maid what was so unusual about that, since he is known as the biggest Pussy Grabber in the entire nation.
The maid, who said her name was Julia Chinaberry, said that she is married and has 8 kids, and no Republican bastard asshole is going to touch her muffin.
Viperwater asked Mrs. Chinaberry, if the predator managed to touch her beaver.
Chinaberry said that he came within two inches of actually touching it, but before he could make contact, she clenched her fist and smacked him extremely hard on his orange complected face.
