HACKENSACK, New Jersey – (Trump Satire) – The man who has been Donald J. Trump’s personal physician for many years has revealed to the iNews Agency that the ex-Golfer-in-Chief has a tremendous amount of stress.
Dr. Yang Fu Fi spoke with reporter Kitty Segovia and informed her that he recently gave DJT a thorough physical examination, and he found some very interesting personal shit (his words).
Miss Segovia informed the doctor than in the interest of national transparency he is required to put the information out to the American public.
Dr. Fu Fi, agreed and said that for one Trump’s stress level is equal to that of an African gazelle surrounded by a pack of hungry lions.
Secondly, he stated that the ex-Electoral College president has a weird-looking blemish on his penis that can best be described as looking like the state of Maryland.
And thirdly, just in the past six months, his IQ has gone down from 73 to 62, which is cause for concern because once his IQ hits 55, he’ll have the brains of someone like that blithering asshole known as the Pillow Guy, Mark “The Turdhead” Lindell.
In Other Medical News: Marjorie Taylor Greene’s gynecologist reports that the squirrel bite that she recently received to her labia majora is healing nicely.