NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – After countless members of Congress have called for the governor of New York to resign, Governor Cuomo has said that he has no plans to effen resign.
He pointed out that Trump allegedly boinked 82 adult females, allegedly diverted $74 million from the U.S. Veteran’s Fund to son Barron’s college fund, and allegedly showed his “Little Trumpy” to half a dozen members of the New York City Rockettes, and the “Orange Bloated SOB” is still walking around as if no one hates his lying ass.
The governor told Fox News talking head Tucker Carlson that he is innocent and that he will never resign, and that they would have to drag him out of the Governor’s Mansion with a team of Clydesdales.
In Other News. Trump reportedly told one of his girlfriends, Maria Bartiromo, that the American people just have to understand that lying is as common in the political world as fish are in the oceanic world.