WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - President Trump was asked by a reporter with Fox News about Michael Cohen’s brand new book, which makes him look like the biggest racist predator and tax-evading liar in the entire world. He responded by saying t…
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - There is no book in the history of books, that will be read by more people than Michael Cohen’s expose on President Trump titled, “Disloyal – The Truth and Nothing But The Truth.” Cohen told CNN’s Anderson Cooper th…
LOS ANGELES – The woman who was paid $131,265 hush money by the President's attorney, Michael Cohen, has just revealed why she said that Donald J. Trump was a “Planetary Lover”. Stormy spoke with Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors, and told her that "Spa…
MANHATTAN – Michael Cohen, the attorney that Donald J. Trump called his “Fixer,” has just been released from the Otisville Correctional Facility. Cohen, aka #2190562, was released early, and many are saying that it is because POTUS was scared as h...
MADRID, New York – President Trump’s former attorney and well-documented ‘fixer,’ recently said that he is going stir-crazy sitting in his tiny prison cell at New York state's infamous Sang Sung Prison. Michael Cohen (aka #7803219) is so desperate...
MADRID, New York – The man who was Donald Trump’s personal attorney and so called “Fixer” for ten years, has just commented that he is ready to sing like Celine Dion. Michael Cohen said that he has had a lot of time to think, as he sat in his tiny...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Like a demented rat (genus Rattus) munching on cream cheese with rubber-tipped teeth, so that no one might hear him, Special Counsel Robert Mueller mealy-mouthed his way through two House committee hearings last week. Mueller,...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Ominously, the day began with the Four Horses of the Apocalypse peacefully munching oats in the White House stables; their teeth tipped with rubber so that they would not wake up Slim Everdingle from his troubled slumber. Slim was...
Washington - At a recent Congressional hearing, Republican Paul Gosar, who once said that climate change isn't real because of "photosynthesis", watched in horror as Congresswoman Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez asked former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen pertin...
Hollywood, CA. The Bored Directors - yes, that's what they call themselves - of the famed Hollywood Walk of Fame, voted today to place a star on the fabled sidewalk in recognition of Michael "Flip" Cohen's unequaled performance before House and Senat...
Washington - An entire country, under immediate danger from a completely deranged madman with an arsenal of nuclear missiles capable of taking out tens of millions of people, found itself glued to the television set as Michael Cohen, former lawyer an...
BILLINGSGATE POST: "When The Twilight Is Gone And No Songbirds Are Singing." But the songbirds were singing. Michael Cohen just performed acapella for James Mueller, or so he thought. Although both have the same surname, Michael and Sasha Bar...
For the Evangelicals Still Standing by Their Man A mighty fortress is our Trump, a bulwark ever flailing; our Savior he amid the flood, his moral ills prevailing. For still Trump’s dauntless foes do seek to work Him woe; their craft and power are great, and armed with cruel facts, on earth are not their equals. Did we in our own strength take pride, our striving would be b...
President Trump's former lawyer and "fixer" Michael Cohen has been charged on eight counts of fraud and other financial crimes, including tax evasion and paying off Stormy Daniels for having to sleep with the orange leader. Unusually, Cohen defend...
It was revealed that Trump's personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, whose office was raided by Special Prosecutor Mueller, has lots of secret tapes he recorded of him and Trump. Among the admissions are: 1. Trump is barely a millionaire, much less a billionaire. 2. When Eric was a baby they would leave him in the middle of nowhere but he always found his way back home. 3. Trump has a guy to twee...
With apologies to Leslie Gore It's my party and I'll lie if I want to Lie if I want to Lie if I want to You would lie too if it happened to you! Nobody knows where my lawyers have gone But Rudy came just in time. Why won’t he shut the fuck up When he's supposed to be mine? It's my party and I'll lie if I want to Lie if I want to Lie if I want to You would lie too if your wife had...
BILLINGSGATE POST: In 1990, the New York Post’s famous headline blared that Donald Trump’s ex-wife Marla Maple proclaimed the future president “the best sex I’ve ever had.” What the story conveniently omitted, perhaps by choice, is that Marla was a...
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