WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Chicago Wind newspaper has just revealed that the Ukraine has agreed to lease one of its military air force bases to the U.S.
Ukrainian General Dinipro Visachenko stated that the deal will not cost the American taxpayers a single dime, since in exchange for the lease, the Ukraine will receive from the U.S. 80,000 chicken pox vaccines, 20,000 Apple iPhones, 42,000 boxes of Stouffer’s Stovetop Stuffing, and 805 cases of El Matador Tequila.
Vice-President Kamala Harris, who was recently voted the Sexiest Vice-President in the history of vice-presidents, brokered the deal for which she will get the customary brokerage fee of $30,000.
The vice-president added that now that U.S. reconnaissance planes, fighter jets, and bombers, are right next door to Russia, it will help in keeping President Putin’s over-worked, male testosterone in check.
SIDENOTE: White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki, told the assembled press that President Biden is so pleased with the vice-president's work that he will be giving her a much-deserved raise.