Convicted serial killer Danny Gun has initiated a law suit against Killing People Film Productions to create change in the way Hollywood casts its actors playing the roles of criminals. Mr. Gun, in his lawsuit, claims that he has been passed over for roles that depict various type of criminals doing various unlawful acts. Speaking for his cell mates he claims that they too have been left out of the equation.
“It just isn’t right”, lamented Gun. “Who knows more about being a criminal than a criminal?”
“Just think about how much more realistic a scene would look when a real mugger does the mugging, or a true arsonist burns down a movie studio. Criminal behavior is manifested in the lawbreaker. Diversity, also, plays a role. How many real delinquents are there in Hollywood movies? Not many I Can assure you. All we are asking for is fair representation”.
“How would you like it if you were a nose picker and in a Hollywood movie they had a serial nose picker who wasn’t a nose picker? Wouldn’t that upset you, being passed over like that? Honestly, it is the same as a frog who has had his legs cut off. The frog can’t jump any higher than a dead ant. This is why I am speaking on behalf of all criminals. We need fair representation”.
When asked about Mr. Gun’s lawsuit, Sherry Flick the spokeswoman for Killing People Film Productions replied: “We have had delinquents in the past in some of our movies. In one case we had a real mass murderer play a role but he ended up killing the entire cast before we could finish the movie which really put us in a bind. We had to go out and find ourselves a real police officer to play the part of a peace officer and had him arrest the terminator”.
As of press time New York congress woman Alexandria Ocasio Cortez claimed that by eliminating all the prisons there would no longer be a need for criminals to play roles in movies because there would no longer be anyone who is an offender. “They could all be in Congress where they would thrive”.