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Funny satire stories about Criminal

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Funny story: How Not to Avoid Jury Duty

How Not to Avoid Jury Duty

Pomona, CA. An elderly man who thought he should have been excused from jury duty for medical reasons reluctantly appeared at the municipal court here last Monday when jury officials rejected his claim. He still hoped that the judge would recognize h...

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Funny story: The Prince and the Car Crash

The Prince and the Car Crash

The Crown Prosecution Service has decided not do the one thing that’s in their actual name: prosecute a member of the Crown. The CPS (Cowardly Ponce Service - see what we did there?) have admitted that the Duke of Edinburgh won’t be prosecuted over h...

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Funny story: Mourinho 'Gets Suspended Jail Sentence' for Tax Fraud: Manchester United Fans to Appeal

Mourinho 'Gets Suspended Jail Sentence' for Tax Fraud: Manchester United Fans to Appeal

Angry Manchester United fans raised a call today for crowdfunding an appeal to get their team's manager, José Mourinho, jailed after he reached a deal with the Spanish state on a one-year suspended sentence in a long-running tax fraud case. Famous...

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Funny story: All crime ceases as Trump becomes president

All crime ceases as Trump becomes president

*DISCLAIMER* All names of people and organisations contained herein, barring Mr Trump, are works of fiction and any resemblance to any real figure is purely coincidental WASHINGTON, D.C., January 21st, 2017 - BREAKING: Since President Donald Trump...

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Funny story: Homeowners must provide pamphlets guiding potential burglars to high value items

Homeowners must provide pamphlets guiding potential burglars to high value items

In a major victory for a campaign run by The Sunday Telegraph, the Department for Justice will move to bring in a new law protecting criminals who break into people's houses. Ahead of the new law being introduced in the House of Lords this week, C...

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Funny story: New York Car Thief Taught A Lesson

New York Car Thief Taught A Lesson

NYC Police told the press this morning that they had arrested one Howard Applegate for car theft after they got him out of the trunk while screaming to anyone he heard on the street to call 911. Applegate confessed that he was the person stripping...

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Funny story: Bogeyman Arrested For Art Attack

Bogeyman Arrested For Art Attack

A man was arrested yesterday for causing criminal damage in a Greenwich Village art gallery. He is accused of sneezing maliciously and abundantly on a derivative and prententious abstract painting which was on display, a work valued at $5,000.

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Funny story: Appeal after lost cosh

Appeal after lost cosh

A Gateshead man has been left devastated after losing his cosh. Alf Umpyer, a notorious criminal, lost his cosh last Thursday night while on the prowl in the posh, upper-class district of the town. He had put the cosh in his coat pocket whilst...

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Funny story: Isle Of Wight's Most Wanted Evades Capture Once Again

Isle Of Wight's Most Wanted Evades Capture Once Again

Master criminal and Isle of Wight's most wanted man, Curly O'Halloran evaded police yet again, after a four hour siege in a barn on the outskirts of Shanklin. The wily thief had recently robbed a bakery van and fled to the secluded barn, with the...

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Funny story: Controversial Game show 'Second Chance' to air in October

Controversial Game show 'Second Chance' to air in October

Everyone deserves a second chance...or do they? This is the premise of a controversial new reality show to air in the autumn. The show's contestants are made up of a group of social pariahs who, most would agree are beyond the pale, and many would be...

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Funny story: Manchester Riots: MP's Enraged

Manchester Riots: MP's Enraged

Manchester has suffered the worst riots and public unrest in the city's history. Yobs, youths, and grown men that should know better, laid siege to the centre of Manchester last night. A government spokesman said early this morning: "These fol...

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Funny story: Actors to be CRB checked

Actors to be CRB checked

A new government ruling means that from the first of May, all actors who appear with children on television or in films, will have to undergo a CRB check before being allowed to start filming. "We're going to have to incorporate it into the castin...

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Funny story: CRB Check now required to rent videos

CRB Check now required to rent videos

Not content with requiring three different bills with an address, a passport, driving licence, birth certificate, marriage certificate, a letter from your mum and a valid credit card, the big two video rental agencies are now going to require a Crimi...

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Funny story: Cameron Bilious About Votes For Felons

Cameron Bilious About Votes For Felons

David Cameron said he felt sick at the thought of prisoners being granted the right to vote. Angry Cameron hit out at Euro politicians in Brussels. The Prime Minister is determined to stand up for our British rights. He said the right to vote...

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Funny story: Judge in Assault Trial Loses Plot... completely.

Judge in Assault Trial Loses Plot... completely.

Australia: A QUEENSLAND man has described himself as "a bit of a monster" during his trial for assault outside a Melbourne strip club that left the victim critically injured. Christopher Gibbon, 28, of Brisbane, appeared at Melbourne's Crown Cour...

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Funny story: Hunt on for hot tub burglary gang who take a dip in victims' pools

Hunt on for hot tub burglary gang who take a dip in victims' pools

Yes, 'cheeky burglars' abound in part of England. So far they have struck four times. Each time they have made a "clean" getaway. Police are said to be looking for three 'squeaky-clean' men in their early 20s, according to forensic expert, Luk...

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Funny story: Exposed: Santa Claus is the Smartest Outlaw Alive!

Exposed: Santa Claus is the Smartest Outlaw Alive!

Stop and think about it for a minute. Santa Claus really is the smartest Outlaw alive! After all he is a stateless person isn't he?!? Living in the north pole, would mean that he may very well fall under international law as a stateless person, thus meaning he doesn't pay any taxes, doesn't have to comply with government regulations and is not subject to municipal fees and charges for everythin...

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