The Academy Awards Commission Announces That Due to The Horrible TV Ratings The Oscars Will Never, Ever Be Televised Again

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 29 April 2021

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Experts stated that since no one went to the movies for a full year, the popcorn industry saw a $4 billion loss.

LOS ANGELES – (Entertainment Satire) – Hollywood Innuendo has just announced that due to the lowest ratings in television award show history, the once-proud Oscars show will never be televised again.

Academy Awards spokesperson, Kitty Kippadoddle, 42, informed the entertainment news media that the Oscars show television audience numbers were so pitifully pathetic that it even got beat out in it’s time slot by cable shows like Cooking Exotic Animals; The Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania; Making Your Own Condoms – For Fun and Profit; and the documentary, The Favorite Desert Recipes of Atilla The Hun.

Fajita San Guacamole, with HI remarked that she and her husband, along with about 9,000 others, were the only ones who actually saw the movie that won for best picture – Nomadland.

She pointed out that the title should be changed to Nomoviegoers.

According to stand-up comedian Zydeco Dupree, who won an Oscar for Best Use of Motion Picture Slang, Nomadland is the somberly suggestive story of a thrice-divorced woman who wanders throughout the 48-continental states searching for the true meaning of the words Yo, Fa Shizzle, and Woke.

Netflix received a commendation award for not raising their monthly fee during the Coronavirus pandemic.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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