Stefano M. Stefano's Somewhat Inaccurate Movie Reviews

Funny story written by Stefano M. Stefano

Thursday, 11 February 2021

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Have some popcorn as well

Here's a bunch of movies you'll want to check out after you read my somewhat inaccurate reviews.

"Star Trek - The Motion Picture" - A bald chick flies the rocketship Enterprise straight into a galaxy gravity pull and needs the crew to fix her really big cable TV satellite dish.

"Taxi Driver" - Robert De Niro breaks the Fourth Wall 30 years before Deadpool did, by asking the audience if they're talking to him. They were. So was I.

"The Godfather" - This is the greatest movie of all time with the greatest actors and the greatest musical score and the greatest EVERYTHING!!!! (Hey, it's about the MOB-- do you seriously think I'm gonna say anything negative about it???!!! Get reall!!!) Most excellent of excellent movies!

"Planet Of The Apes" - A monkey man touches Charlton Heston with his sticky paws and pisses him off. That would annoy me, too. If you're going to eat bananas with your bare hands, wash them before you approach a guy like Heston! (He was kinda touchy about those things!)

"Ghostbusters" - Bill Murray plays Bill Murray, and uses a gun with radioactive silly string to catch fat, hungry ghosts.

"Raiders Of The Lost Ark" - Han Solo plays adventurer Idaho Jones, and shoots a poor slob that brought a knife to a gunfight. Hijinks ensue.

"The Notebook" - A depressed woman has a diary with all kinds of entrties about a depressed man. Hijinks ensue.

"The Silence Of The Lambs" - A confusing movie where Jodie Foster never visits a petting zoo or even owns a lamb. Later, she talks to a guy wearing a mask that inspired WWE superstar Mick Foley to wear a similar one.

"A Clockwork Orange" - Here's my review: e4384hebskdnaidbsgwt wuwl^&nswhw2393h
3bdbdjdkekekene beajdjjrkkepwonn33od jdndm@soejebe7. And a half. My review makes about as much sense as the actual movie.

"Ace Ventura, Pet Detective" - Jim Carrey plays a viscious, cold-blooded, hostile killing machine that relentlessly follows a harmless guy around town, uttering threats and nearly blowing up his apartment building because the guy looked at his sister on the subway. Oh, wait-- that's my real-life situation! (Honestly, Bugsy, I was just looking in your sister's direction at a photo of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau when I yelled out, "You suck eggs, you girly-man!" Please leave me alone!)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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