Hillary and Pelosi claim Putin behind attack on capitol plus laptop and boot on desk

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 20 January 2021

image for Hillary and Pelosi claim Putin behind attack on capitol plus laptop and boot on desk
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, . . . and applying the wrong remedies.”

Yesterday, on Ms. Clinton's podcast, “You and Me Both,” Hillary and Nancy Pelosi fastidiously sought to avoid being called “daft” for their views.

Was it not clear, they suggested, that once again Mr. Putin had interfered in American politics? Who else could be behind last week's vandalism and ribaldry in the capitol?

Was not the stolen laptop--with intent to sell it to the Russians--was that not proof enough?

And what about Mr. Trump's phone records? Surely, if released, that walk he urged was a suggestion direct from the perspiring lips of Mr. Putin, eager to have another go at bringing down America.

Indeed, as Ms. Pelosi said, “All roads lead to Putin.”

In fact, isn't what happened enough to get up a new 9/11 Commission as with the previous attack on the United States 20 years back?

Ms. Clinton: "Well, as you say, all roads . . ."

Their discussion continued following the podcast, according to an engineer in the studio (who must remain anonymous).

“And take that boot on my desk,” Nancy was saying. "Do you know how long it took me to scrub off the stains? My elbow still aches!”

“Soviet style definitely! As with that ugly fellow wearing it?” from Ms. Clinton.

“Not only that,” assayed Ms. Pelosi. “You've heard about all these asteroids the size of The Empire State Building? Headed for Earth on inauguration day itself?”

“Putin, of course. Don't they have new battle systems we know nothing about?”

“There it is! All roads, don't you know?”

Asked to comment on these developments, Mr. Zuckerburg and Mr. Dorsey offered their views:

Mr. Z: “Well, there's conspiracy theory, and then there's official theory.”

Mr. D: “We don't do conspiracy theory, only official theory. As with the 9/11 commission and 19 Arabs with box cutters. That thing.”

Mr . Z: “Oh, yes. Why US defense was unable to deal with those rogue planes over a span of about two hours is entirely explained in the official theory. Now, as to the Trump administration and this capitol attack thing--”

Mr. D: “We have to keep our eye on business relations. That's all it is.”

Mr. Z: “Plus of course, all roads . . .”

Mr. D: “That's right! All roads lead to Putin—or maybe China. It's China now, isn't it?”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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