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Funny satire stories about lockdown

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Funny story: Companies starting to email people again

Companies starting to email people again

Although they have forgotten about you completely for the past 16 months, companies are starting to email you again. 'It was quite a shock' said Brian Asshat 'The organisation I used to volunteer at before lock-down has sent me an email, asking me…

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Funny story: The Troubling “New Normal” Addiction: Freedom Porn

The Troubling “New Normal” Addiction: Freedom Porn

In the midst of continuing lockdowns, vaccine passports, and widespread censorship, the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases has reported a troubling new addiction on the rise among male-identifying neoliberals: a media genre sensati…

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Funny story: Your mate Dave now has a beard

Your mate Dave now has a beard

Your old mate Dave, now has a beard. You haven't seen him since before the first lockdown, and at first, you didn't know it was him until he shouted at you across the street, and you recognised his voice. It really suits him. Dave takes up the…

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Funny story: Governor Newsom caught inside his personal McDonald's with Sausage McMuffin NOT confirmed

Governor Newsom caught inside his personal McDonald's with Sausage McMuffin NOT confirmed

The Governor of California's rules state that the tier color purple does not allow eating inside restaurants. The basic principle here is that covid does not roam as freely in 39% weather on the patio, especially in wind and rain. This conclusi…

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Funny story: CDC Announces Fully Vaccinated People with Low COVID Risk Will Have Limited Freedom of Peaceable Assembly

CDC Announces Fully Vaccinated People with Low COVID Risk Will Have Limited Freedom of Peaceable Assembly

Constitutional rights are no longer completely off the map in the United States, Dr. Randi Wallace of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently announced; fully vaccinated people at low risk of death from COVID-19 may now gather in very…

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Funny story: Introverts Society Endorses Continued Lockdowns

Introverts Society Endorses Continued Lockdowns

Citing concerns that even “double-masking” as recommended by NIAID Director, Dr. Anthony Fauci, may not be fully effective in preventing the spread of the pesky flu-like bug known as COVID-19, Inner World Introverts Society issued a statement endorsi…

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Funny story: UK government reveals suspicious plan to ease lockdown

UK government reveals suspicious plan to ease lockdown

Earlier this week, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced a plan for how the lockdown will finally be lifted in the UK - or at least in the parts he still controls, so only England. The plan is to ease restrictions in stages to minimise the chances o…

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Funny story: Analysts say senator's “erection” mistake a sign of dementia among Democrats

Analysts say senator's “erection” mistake a sign of dementia among Democrats

Curious as it may be, Mr. Trump's coming impeachment trial has aroused Democrats in unexpected ways. Speaking on the senate floor about Mr. Trump's upcoming trial, Senate Majority Leader, Charles Schumer recently stated: “Make no mistake, ther…

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Funny story: Man At The End Of His Tether

Man At The End Of His Tether

A man who has borne the Coronavirus crisis with what seemed to others as a 'steady resolve' during unprecedented times, has revealed that his cool, calm exterior is disguising a multitude of psychological problems, and that he has had just about as m…

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Funny story: German Herr "Locks-Down" his missus and family literally!

German Herr "Locks-Down" his missus and family literally!

(NOT EDITED) A German court in Solingen has found Herr Fritz Fritsche guilty on more counts of locking down his family in two pandemic waves, one from March till June and the other from September till December! Fritz Fritsche, a local Waste Techni…

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Funny story: Man Arrived At Work Only To Be Told To Go Home Again

Man Arrived At Work Only To Be Told To Go Home Again

A man who arrived at work this morning, only to be told that he should go home again because the government had just announced a second lockdown, has said he was well and truly pissed off, because his wife, who had brought him to work on her motorbik…

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Funny story: Newsom rushed to brain trauma unit following confrontation with computer assistant

Newsom rushed to brain trauma unit following confrontation with computer assistant

Directly following his recent embarrassment at being caught at a dinner for twelve with no masks, and no social distancing, California's Governor Newsom is again in trouble. Additionally, the Governor's claim of the restaurant's setting as “outdoo…

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Funny story: Mass anti-lockdown protests in London by women with 'barge-arses', and men with huge 'beer guts!!'

Mass anti-lockdown protests in London by women with 'barge-arses', and men with huge 'beer guts!!'

The lockdown is something that is, obviously, not a good thing for many people, but it is a necessary evil, if we are to eradicate COVID-19. However, on the path to vaccines, there are many mountains to climb, especially with women developing 'barge-…

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Funny story: DeBlasio daughter rushed to therapy following episode of tongue disorder

DeBlasio daughter rushed to therapy following episode of tongue disorder

Mayor of New York, Bill DeBlasio, reports his daughter is recovering nicely and will be released soon. His daughter, Chiara DeBlasio, 25, showed signs of a second indication of perfide rei publicae lingua (rogue political tongue) in Democratic Cir…

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Funny story: Man Is On Economy Drive

Man Is On Economy Drive

A man who had been experiencing severe financial difficulties before he eventually returned to work six weeks ago, has continued to exercise the spending constraints he imposed during the lockdown, claiming it is good practice for the future. Moys…

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Funny story: Man Is Becoming Irrational Thinking About The New Lockdown

Man Is Becoming Irrational Thinking About The New Lockdown

The long-term.effects of an extended lockdown were widely speculated upon in March, before it actually took place, but nothing had prepared people for what eventually came to pass. Spending more time with one's family is usually something worth ce…

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Funny story: Lockdown ruining trade, say filchers

Lockdown ruining trade, say filchers

Burglars, petty thieves, filchers and citizens generally accustomed to purloining for a living have had enough. They are to strike as of next Tuesday. "It's getting ridiculous", said Bob Loot, Chairman of the League of Crooks and Pilferers, "peopl…

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