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Funny satire stories about lockdown

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Funny story: A nice day out at the castle

A nice day out at the castle

After the Prime Minister's guru had declared driving to be the way of testing eyesight, thousands have set out on trips up and down the motorways and country lanes of Britain, to ascertain their quality of vision. "Best if you test it from all sid...

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Funny story: Senior Tory adviser was a lying hypocrite

Senior Tory adviser was a lying hypocrite

In news that surprised nobody at all, leading adviser to the PM, Dominic Cummings, has been unmasked as a liar, a hypocrite and an arrogant self-serving twat who refuses to acknowledge any errors he has made. "When I drove 260 miles during the loc...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Thinks World Is Upside-Down but Respects that World Doesn't Care What He Thinks

Nashville Man Thinks World Is Upside-Down but Respects that World Doesn't Care What He Thinks

Witnessing comedy clubs implementing contactless temperature-monitoring of guests and people going for their daily jog in face masks, all in the name of curbing the spread of a disease comparable in severity to the flu, Nate Parker of Nashville, Tenn...

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Funny story: CDC Joins Forces With Mosquito Joe for Targeted Virus Control

CDC Joins Forces With Mosquito Joe for Targeted Virus Control

As a number of states begin to loosen up their COVID-19 lockdowns, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has partnered with extermination service Mosquito Joe to help people rid their backyards of the coronavirus and other pests that could p...

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Funny story: Americans Attempting to Speak Truth to Power Hindered by State-Mandated Face Masks

Americans Attempting to Speak Truth to Power Hindered by State-Mandated Face Masks

Troubled by the infringement of civil liberties imposed in the name of curbing the spread of COVID-19, Americans seeking to speak truth to power have been hindered by the presence of their State-mandated face masks. “There's been an unprecedented...

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Funny story: Government's Online Covid-19 Press Conference Facility Taken Down After 30 Minutes

Government's Online Covid-19 Press Conference Facility Taken Down After 30 Minutes

An online government question submission form provided so that the general public might have their concerns aired at a press conference on the Coronavirus, has had to be taken offline, after it was abused by people asking the most stupid questions im...

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Funny story: Americans Confused as to whether Getting Coronavirus Is Good or Bad

Americans Confused as to whether Getting Coronavirus Is Good or Bad

Many Americans are confused as to what fate awaits them if they become infected with the coronavirus and then recover. Will they be a pariah or superhuman? Hero or social outcast? Gasping for air or immune for life? “If I find out I’ve had it, wi...

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Funny story: Blabbermouth Woman Tells Her Neighbour She's "Been Saying This All Along"

Blabbermouth Woman Tells Her Neighbour She's "Been Saying This All Along"

A woman has told her neighbour that, despite all the expert medical Coronavirus advice being despatched on an almost-daily basis to the general public, she doesn't really need it, as it's exactly what she's been saying all along. Janice Frigg, who...

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Funny story: Hell's Angels Leader Tells PM "To Hell With The Lockdown!"

Hell's Angels Leader Tells PM "To Hell With The Lockdown!"

The leader of a gang of Hell's Angels has reacted angrily to the continuation of the Coronavirus lockdown in the UK by saying that his group will defy Boris Johnson's government, and will go wherever, whenever, they please. Brian Smith, 37, head o...

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Funny story: CDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End

CDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End

Based on consultations with mathematical experts, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has determined that the successful “flattening of the curve” of coronavirus infections has resulted in a line extending into infinity, meaning that the C...

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Funny story: Manchester United: Harry Maguire Says Lockdown Should Be Optional

Manchester United: Harry Maguire Says Lockdown Should Be Optional

Seven weeks into the Coronavirus lockdown, and Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has finally spoken out on the plight of the British public as they writhe and squirm in their homes, fidgeting to get out and into the pubs, shopping centres and...

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Funny story: How To Cope Under Lockdown, with Charles "Turnip" Townshend

How To Cope Under Lockdown, with Charles "Turnip" Townshend

Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend, in full Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend of Raynham, (born April 18, 1675, Raynham Hall, Norfolk, England—died June 21, 1738, Raynham), Whig statesman who directed British foreign policy from 1721 t...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson To Announce End Of UK Lockdown

Boris Johnson To Announce End Of UK Lockdown

Coronavirus News: According to a Downing Street source, Prime Minister Boris Johnson will, later this week, announce the government's blueprint for a total release of the UK lockdown that has been in place since Monday 23rd March. "Prime Minister...

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Funny story: Sweden to Be Extradited to United States for Violating American COVID-19 Guidelines

Sweden to Be Extradited to United States for Violating American COVID-19 Guidelines

The United States is taking steps to extradite the country of Sweden, which declined to impose a nationwide lockdown in response to the coronavirus pandemic and, instead, encouraged citizens to practice good judgment and limit contact with vulnerable...

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Funny story: Factory Worker Wants Lockdown To Go On Forever

Factory Worker Wants Lockdown To Go On Forever

A factory operative who has now been at home for six weeks due to the Coronavirus lockdown, has said that he doesn't mind "one bit", and that he hopes it goes on indefinitely. Tatty Mullett, who works at a company making toilet seats, said that, a...

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Funny story: Lockdown Opens Doors for Key Workers

Lockdown Opens Doors for Key Workers

LOCKSMITHS have reported booming sales since the start of the coronavirus pandemic. While many businesses have been struggling during the tight restrictions, key workers have never been so busy. Reg Dwight, owner of key-cutting and lock fitting...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Says UK Lockdown Will Continue Until He, Himself, Is Suffering

Boris Johnson Says UK Lockdown Will Continue Until He, Himself, Is Suffering

The Coronavirus lockdown, which is now six weeks old, and already biting into the financial reserves of many small and medium-sized businesses, is set to continue, says Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who maintains that the arrangement will be kept in...

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