CAMEL SHIT, Afghanistan – (Satire News) – Russia’s national news agency, The Kremlin Voice, has publicly declared that one of the world’s most feared terrorist organizations has just donated $14 million to Trump’s 2024 political campaign.
Al-Qaeda leader, Mustafa Haliboo, who has President Putin’s private cell phone number, has reportedly sent the cashiers check to DJT’s Mar-a-Lago, Florida address.
Haliboo, who has a degree in camel science from the prestigious Attila the Hun University in Kabul, has recently been named Al-Qaeda’s Employee-of-the-Year.
Musty, as four of his five wives call him, told Putin that, just last week, Trump sent him a red MAGA cap, an 8 by 10 glossy of Ivanka in a Corona Beer bikini swimsuit, and an autographed photo of him and Maria Bartiromo standing underneath the golden arches at a McDonalds in Baltimore.
Meanwhile, Taliban leader, Malawi Abu Fizzifu, has just informed the world press that his organization has named Sofia Vergara as the official Taliban army’s pin-up girl for 2021.