Be it resolved that I, the QAnon Shaman who stormed the United States Capitol, while carrying a spear and wearing horns, hereby decree the rules of the House of Representatives from my prison cell: 1. Shouting into a bullhorn will henceforth repla…
Desperate to appeal to a wider audience, to revamp their image, and stem the flood of resignations from the party, Republicans are radically changing their status in the capitol, and all representatives and senators of the GOP have come out as nonbin…
Though impeachment proceedings loom, the outcome is already known, and Republicans are planning quite a show. No point spending money on external shysters when events warrant a jubilant internal shindig on the part of the GOP. They're sure not gonna…
WASHINGTON -The members of Trump’s campaign team and pro-Trump non-profit groups strongly deny having had anything to do with the alleged storming of the Capitol Building on January 6th, 2021. Trump’s aides were unavailable for comment. Our source…
Following the shutdown of right wing conspiracy-laden platform, Parler, GOP members must now find alternative means to communicate with their followers. This comes as tech firms Apple and Google have pulled the app from their app stores, and Amaz…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Baltimore’s Eye-Spectator Channel 69, is reporting that security cameras caught an ugly-as-hell woman carrying a paint gun and a bag of thumb tacks, working her way into the Senate chamber on January 6. Upon clos…
WASHINGTON- The followers of President Donald J. Trump are still recovering from a shock caused by the news of an unjustified and brutal Twitter ban. If only they knew that the President and what’s left of his staff have been working on creative and…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The iNews Agency is reporting that Nancy Pelosi is fit to be tied, as she stated that the asshole, redneck, piece-of-shit Anarchist, who broke into her Capitol building office stole her bottle of birth control pills…
Capitol building rioter Jake Angeli, better known as the Q Shaman, or the twat in the hat, has been attacked by a buffalo as he made his escape from police yesterday. The 33-year-old, who suffers from small penis syndrome, was seen bare-chested, w…
“George Washington never looked so good,” both Melania Trump and Michael “Michelle” Obummer agreed, after seeing the first U.S. president "up close and personal." "I knew he was tall," Michael said, "but I had no idea he was that big. I think he m...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A lot of American taxpayers are very upset with First Lady Michelle Obama's plans for the United States Capitol Building. According to American Spotlight Magazine, Mrs. Obama has decided that she wants to have the capitol buildi...
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