President Trump Condemns Police Brutality

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 10 January 2021

image for President Trump Condemns Police Brutality
Hands in pockets, the police get brutal

After Wednesday's horrific events at Capitol Hill, when members of the public found themselves trapped inside the building by renegade law enforcement officers, President Donald Trump has condemned the brutal actions of police who attended the fracas, and called for an immediate inquiry.

He, meanwhile, denied that he, himself, had been responsible.

Trump had spoken to thousands of his supporters on Wednesday, giving them encouragement to look into the inner workings of Capitol Hill, so that they might better appreciate the good work that goes on there.

But, he now claims, when the peaceful crowd arrived and entered the building, they were roughly dealt with by police officers, who shouted, smashed windows and broke down doors, damaged furnishings, muddied carpets with their boots, and herded the visitors into the main chamber and various offices, including that of Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi.

One man was forced to sit at her desk and have his photograph taken, said Trump.

Others found themselves with armfuls of government laptops, stationery and waste paper baskets, thrust upon them by police, who ordered them to steal everything.

Officers had drawn their weapons to frighten the mainly white crowd, who became startled, and were forced to abandon their good-natured fact-finding tour, and had no choice but to saunter outside and go home.

It had been "absolutely disgraceful," said Trump.

He would have sent a Tweet, but is currently experiencing online connection problems.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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