WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – RumorLand News has put out that with Donnie Jr. now infected with his dad’s COVID-19 virus, he now makes the number of White House residents, staffers, and ass-kissers who have contacted the dreaded disease at 83, not including “Pecker”, Eric Trump’s pet vulture.
Junior’s daddy, his step-mommy, his girlfriend, and so many other relatives have all caught the Coronavirus that they all swore was just a hoax perpetuated by the mean Democrats.
But if it’s one thing that the Trumps all have in common, it's their penchant for an endless supply of silly, ridiculous, asinine excuses.
Donnie’s daddy, Donnie Senior, said he got it from a toilet seat. The President’s soon-to-be daughter-in-law, Kimberly Guilfoyle, says she got it from eating a virus-infected hot dog wiener, and Kayleigh McEnany, the White House press secretary, claims she caught it from CNN’s Jim Acosta, who has never had it.
Meanwhile, little Donnie told Fox News’ Laura “Trigger Face” Ingraham, that he is 92.7% certain he caught it from one of the White House maids.
SIDENOTE: All of the White House maids, cooks, and housekeepers are tested for COVID-19 every two hours.