WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Department of Unemployment has just informed the news media, that one Donald John Trump has just submitted a pre-unemployment request to receive unemployment benefits.
A representative for the DU, stated that Trump informed them that he was making $19 million a year as president.
The soon-to-be non-president figures that he should be receiving about $7,600 a month in unemployment benefits, plus free milk, cheese, and Jello.
Trump also noted that he may need a lot more than that just to pay for the eight Secret Service agents he will be needing to make sure no one tries to do him any harm, or call him nasty names like he's done to hundreds of others.
Meanwhile, his wife, Melania, has told close friends that she can hardly wait to get away from the totally dysfunctional Trump family; especially Ivanka, who acts as if she’s a Saudi Arabian princess.