WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A White House insider says that President Trump has been hiding in the Presidential Bunker, due to the fact that he is as embarrassed at losing the election in a landslide, as a priest who’s been caught reading a book on Atheism.
The American Federation of Brain Therapists all agree that Donald has reached stage 7 of disillusionment.
They say that he’s only playing with 19 cards of a 52-card deck. They noted that his Shetland pony is missing two horseshoes, and his bass guitar only has one string.
In other words, Donald Johnny Trump, who is 74, but who now appears like he’s 94, is looking like a man who has been beaten repeatedly in his noggin with an adult porcupine.
And the spoiled brat says he will never admit that he lost. He then points out that he knows, for a fact, that the election was rigged by a group of Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus midgets.
An unnamed White House source has remarked that Melania is trying her damnedest to get the divorce papers expedited post haste.