It's Finally Official: 306 to 232

Funny story written by Fannin Fabriano

Saturday, 14 November 2020

image for It's Finally Official: 306 to 232
Trump got himself, a good old-fashion ass kickin' as they say down yonder in Amarillo, Texas.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - After what seemed like weeks, the final Electoral College numbers are in, and Joe Biden will be moving into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in January.

The final Electoral College vote tally was 306 to 232; a virtual landslide.

President Trump also lost the popular vote by 5.3 million popular votes. And White House insiders say that everyone of the staff members is keeping their distance from Trump for fear of getting bit.

Word is, even the first lady, Melania, upon hearing the final results, locked herself in her bedroom. A maid said she heard Mrs. Trump exclaim, "Yes! Yes! Damn Effen Yes!"

The maid added, tongue-in-cheek, that Melania was by herself.

It is no secret that the first lady has hated living in the White House since the very beginning. She told her parents, when she first moved in, that it was like living in a Honduran sanitary landfill.

Melania's son, Barron, spent the afternoon celebrating the fact that he is getting paroled, by eating 7 Neopolitan ice cream cones, and whistling songs by his favorite singer, Yo Yo Afro Woke.

Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi gleamed with unbounded joy, as she told a group of reporters, that Trumpski should be getting measured for an orange jumpsuit, sometime in early February.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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