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Funny satire stories about Zombies

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Funny story: United Sack deadwood, Solskjaer, and Replace Him With a deadwood Zombie, not a Tosser!

United Sack deadwood, Solskjaer, and Replace Him With a deadwood Zombie, not a Tosser!

After yesterday's disgraceful capitulation against their 'Bitter' rivals in the ancient city of Manchester, the red side of the city, managed by a 'walking the dead Norwegian Wood-Head', have decided to replace him with yet another piece of Dead-Wood…

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Funny story: Harrison Ford's Indiana Jones 5 is Coming!

Harrison Ford's Indiana Jones 5 is Coming!

HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Hollywood Hors D’oeuvres has just announced that the fifth installment in the extremely popular “Indiana Jones” movie franchise will begin filming soon. A spokesperson for the motion picture spoke with HH’s Tahiti Zeppe…

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Funny story: COVID-19 Vaccine Has Side-Effect Of Turning Patients Into Zombies

COVID-19 Vaccine Has Side-Effect Of Turning Patients Into Zombies

The rapid roll-out of the Coronavirus vaccine has continued these last few days, with millions of people anxious to protect themselves before it is too late, but analysts in London are saying there appears to be a worrying side-effect to the drug.

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Funny story: Rudy Giuliani’s Face Is Horribly Melting, Proving The Man Is a Damn Zombie

Rudy Giuliani’s Face Is Horribly Melting, Proving The Man Is a Damn Zombie

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – New York City Police are reporting that Rudolph William Louis Giuliani is actually a zombie. NYPD said that they got over 200 calls reporting a zombie sighting, and, after investigating, they ascertained that it was…

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Funny story: President Trump is Now Insisting That The Election Was Rigged By Circus Midgets

President Trump is Now Insisting That The Election Was Rigged By Circus Midgets

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A White House insider says that President Trump has been hiding in the Presidential Bunker, due to the fact that he is as embarrassed at losing the election in a landslide, as a priest who’s been caught reading a bo…

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Funny story: Zombie-Owned Restaurants increasing in Popularity across the Country

Zombie-Owned Restaurants increasing in Popularity across the Country

Despite making up less than 1% of the American population, Zombies are one of the most unique ethnic minorities in the country due to their eccentric, albeit intriguing, lifestyle. One such area of cultural distinction is the rather interesting choic…

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Funny story: Box Set Britain’s got Box Set Stress - can ‘The Science’ help?

Box Set Britain’s got Box Set Stress - can ‘The Science’ help?

MP’s concerned about box set bingeing are considering a ‘Box Set Bank Holiday’ so people can catch up. Is ‘Box Set Stress’ a real thing, or is it just an excuse to slob around the house all day? Brenda O’Lox who runs a Box Set Stress support group…

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Funny story: Zombie Preparedness and a Defense of the CDC’s COVID-19 Response

Zombie Preparedness and a Defense of the CDC’s COVID-19 Response

The Center for Disease Control (“CDC”) has not performed very well during the pandemic. Early on, for example, we were told that masks did no good. Who knows how many lives this cost? Then we were told that masks, even ones constructed out of clot...

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Funny story: Don't Feel Up To Carving And Cleaning Your Pumpkins This Halloween? Let Vegan Zombies Do It For You!

Don't Feel Up To Carving And Cleaning Your Pumpkins This Halloween? Let Vegan Zombies Do It For You!

Save yourself the mess and the stress of making your families jack-o-lanterns this Halloween; let Vegan Zombies do it for you! Our non-brain eating team of eager un-deads are more than happy to turn their ravenous talents to scooping out the inna...

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Funny story: NEW! Just In Time For Halloween Snacking! The 'Gourmet Zombie Guide To International Fine Dining'!

NEW! Just In Time For Halloween Snacking! The 'Gourmet Zombie Guide To International Fine Dining'!

Due to the success of our hugely popular 'Gourmet Zombie Guide To Fine Dining In America', we are coming out with our International Guide for those zombies with enough money or societal pull to be able to get through TSA lines without being trapped a...

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Funny story: CDC issues nationwide Zombie Apocalypse Alter on spread of TDS

CDC issues nationwide Zombie Apocalypse Alter on spread of TDS

Washington, DC - On Friday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued a nationwide Zombie Apocalypse Alter on the spread of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS). Back on May 16, 2011, the CDC offered guidance to Americans by publishing...

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Funny story: Gloucestershire Village Has Slowest Broadband: Villagers Mystified by "Internet"

Gloucestershire Village Has Slowest Broadband: Villagers Mystified by "Internet"

The population of a village in Gloucestershire was concerned and mystified this week when a street in Bamfurlong was named as the slowest for broadband internet, according to an annual survey by uSwitch. The study said that homes on Greenmeadows Park...

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Funny story: Zombie babies invade Washington DC

Zombie babies invade Washington DC

Washington DC - According to MacDiner restaurant waitress Ms. Taekin, the town is being invaded by zombies. Little zombies. “Hordes of baby zombies, too young to crawl, are walking on their legs, eyes glazed over and drooling at the mouth. “One...

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Funny story: "Strictly come dancing" with the dead in Madagascar means "show time!"

"Strictly come dancing" with the dead in Madagascar means "show time!"

Strictly come dancing, the show every senile person all over the planet loves to watch has a completely different version in Madagascar! Instead of admiring celebs, sport stars, ex-boxers, politicians, star chefs, etc, making tits of themselves at...

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Funny story: Zombies rush Hatian jailers

Zombies rush Hatian jailers

ARCAHATE, Haiti -- Two thousand naked Hatians forced their way past screws into the local jail here, Warden Yozambie Yomama said on the record. The interlopers were suffering from exposure, starvation, zombification, and the Clinton Foundation, a...

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Funny story: Dead people joining protest movements and voter lines

Dead people joining protest movements and voter lines

New studies indicate large numbers of dead people are lining up to vote across the country in advance of November 8. Nigel J. Provender, president of CWS (Cadavers With Soul), is in one of these lines. He reveals that Mr. Trump's claim dead peo...

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Funny story: Hordes of Undead Expected to Vote in November

Hordes of Undead Expected to Vote in November

Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump called it first. At a campaign rally in Green Bay, Wisconsin he told the crowd he predicts "1.8 million deceased individuals" will vote for "somebody else" in the presidential election. Many have mis...

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