QUAKER OATS, Pennsylvania – (Satire News) – The President held another of his post-election campaign rallies. This one was in the Keystone state town of Quaker Oats.
The town, founded in 1616, is noted for growing the tastiest oats in the world. It is also noted for smelling like a great, big, gigantic bowl of stale oatmeal.
POTUS spoke to a crowd of 82 individuals who held up signs which strangely read, "you didn’t lose, Biden just won".
After the rally, he was asked by CNN reporter Jim Acosta, what he thought about Fox News starting to turn on him. He angrily spat on the floor, and said that Fox News,, like Benny Mussolini, is dead to him.
He added that, truth be told, he now likes CNN, MSNBC, and Telemundo way more than he loves ‘Faux News’.
Trump then added, with a smile as big as Sara Huckabee’s ass, that, in early February, he plans to get on the air with his very own 24-hour news network.
He paused and said that it will be a pleasure to kick the collective asses of Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, Tucker Carlson, Lou Dobbs, and the other hypocrite losers.