MT. AIRY, Maryland – The president was in the town of Mt. Airy on a campaign tour. He was speaking before 196 supporters and 13 non-supporters. He told the crowd that he is making two lists and checking them both twice. He said that the first list...
NEW YORK CITY - CNN's Don Lemon has fired back at the President in their ongoing feud. Lemon was furious after Trump said that he was born in Kenya. Lemon hit back at Trump saying that "Emperor Bone Spur's" face looks like it was hit by a flock o...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump has told the Vox Populi News Agency that he has undisputed proof that CNN’s Don Lemon was not born in Louisiana, but in Kenya. Trump spoke with Vox Populi’s Magenta McSalsa, and said that one of his secret servic...
Recently, CNN reported a conflict between Ms. Warren and Bernie Sanders over a “he said, she said” controversy related to the 2020 presidential election. Ms. Warren thought Mr. Sanders said a woman could not win the presidency, which he then vehem...
Breaking: Hero Dog Conan, key assistant in tracking down and eliminating Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, reported in to a White House psychiatrist late this afternoon. Conan has been honored by the president for outstanding bravery in the field of running d...
The Horace S. Ball Foundation has awarded its prized annual trophy to CNN. This distinguished trophy honors Horace Shinola Ball, of the previous century. In making its selection, The Foundation directed its attention to the following. A re...
Covington, Kentucky - During opening arguments of the libel case brought by lawyers on behalf of a Covington High School teen against CNN and other news outlets, it was revealed that the individual in the viral video that was the subject of many news...
NEW YORK - CNN is rebranding itself to reverse its ratings decline. In 2018, the "news network" experienced a 41% loss on its Primetime Viewership numbers. The label "Fake News" has stuck to CNN after President Trump repeatedly criticized their "jour...
Former Stormy Daniels attorney, Michael Avenatti, concluded his once-meteoric rise to cable news superstardom today with a rather abrupt and uneventful collision with a pair of handcuffs. The former darling of CNN and MSNBC was arrested on charges o...
The Vatican -- Today the Lamb of God, held in various sacred halls by the catholic church for over a millennium and long-presumed to be in a vegetative state, surprised priests and bishops alike when it suddenly came to its feet, took a long look ar...
In a bombshell report first issued just days after the 2016 election and re-emerging today, it looks like Donald J. Trump's presidency is coming to an end. "I've been saying it for two years straight," said several news pundits who have been predi...
Today President Trump has emerged several times from a private office at the White House to attend a water cooler nearby. He then returns to this office, and sounds through the door indicate energetic discussion plus (possibly) furniture thrown.
BILLINGSGATE POST: A newly-released video showing forensic psychiatrist and taxidermist, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, carrying a lampshade out of the Saudi Embassy in Istanbul was released this morning as part of the probe into the disappearance of journa...
WASHINGTON D.C. - In the capital today, Donald Trump has been poking Senator Elizabeth Warren with a stick. "Misogyny gets votes!" Trump screams. "And women are silly because they were too stupid to be born with penises!" Warren took a deep bre...
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Comedians across America have declared a strike. They demand that the news stations resume their duties instead of abdicating their responsibilities to them. Jon Oliver angrily explained, "My job is to make people laugh. If I decide to do something that my audience does not enjoy, they demand a refund. And yet, stations have decided to let idiots lie through their teeth and foam...
I Am Anonymous. The most influential person on the planet! Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I am ubiquitous and omnipresent. I am all-seeing, all-knowing, pre-eminent. There is no topic that I don't know something about, or not willing to be quoted on. I can start wars, topple governments, and bring down presidents. My w...
Apparently, life on the book tour circuit can be a little lonely. Following an appearance on the CNN news show The Lead with Jake Tapper, former FBI director James Comey had had enough of the panel's snarky criticisms and stormed the set. "Ther...
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