BILLINGSGATE POST: From the White House to the dog house, Lassie Come Home this is not. In the movie released in 1943, Roddy McDowell had to sell his beloved dog to the Duke of Rudling because his family could no longer afford to feed him. After…
BILLINGSGATE POST: If a giant Saguaro cactus fell in the desert, and no one was pricked by it, did it really fall? Houston, we got a problem. Yes, as we continue to witness the epic struggle between good and evil, personified by the Road Runner a…
MAR-A-LAGO, Florida – (Satire News) – Melania Trump told Tiffany Trump that ever since her daddy got his ass banned from Twitter, he has been one big pile of ‘chit.’ The former first lady, and soon to be the former Mrs. Donald Trump, says that wit…
HACKENSACK, New Jersey – (Satire News) – iRumors disclosed that a woman, who is employed as a Burger Bandit drive-thru window order-taker, has divulged that she was born with two vaginas. Cleo Yorkowitz, 27, told iRumor's Ling-Chow Rangoon that sh…
BILLINGSGATE POST: In an interview scheduled to be aired on Thursday, CNN’s Jake Tapper scores the first known interview of a dog with two assholes. The wily Tapper insisted that Joe Biden, along with his sidekick, Kamala “Breath” Harris, bring…
MUFFLER SMOKE, Michigan – (Satire News) – President Trump spoke at his latest post-election campaign hate rally before a crowd of 14 people, including a 99-year-old woman with an emotional support beaver. The President said that he will never admi…
QUAKER OATS, Pennsylvania – (Satire News) – The President held another of his post-election campaign rallies. This one was in the Keystone state town of Quaker Oats. The town, founded in 1616, is noted for growing the tastiest oats in the world. I…
BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – America has spoken and voted to oust the meanest leader in the history of mankind including Hitler, Hirohito, and Mussolini. The Brooklyn Bridger-Times wrote that the X-rated Trump horror movie is finally over, and now t…
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The New York World Register and hundreds of other news publications are all asking the head-shaking question, “What in the world was Jeffrey Toobin thinking?” Toobin, who was a well-respected writer for the New York…
VENUS FLYTRAP, North Carolina – (Satire News) – Weeks after the presidential debate, President Trump is still claiming that he won the biggest presidential debate going all the way back to George Washington and Ebenezer Follicle. Trump, who is st…
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – CNN says that former television news show host Megyn Kelly is trying extremely hard to become relevant again, but she is falling flat on her frumpy, frowning face. Kelly, who once said that the tooth fairy was gay,…
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The numbers for the television Dueling Town Hall Meetings are in, and the Vox Populi News Agency is reporting that Donald Trump got his arrogant ass kicked beyond belief. VPNA noted that Trump spent more time deflec…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – CNN is reporting that every maid and cook in the White House has abandoned the Trumpapalooza-infested White House. A Trump staff member, who did not want his name revealed, said that, as soon as the President wal…
COTTON BALLS, Georgia – (Satire News) – Fox News is reporting that after going through 672 possible choices to fill the Supreme Court seat, Trump has finally decided on Amy Conehead Barrett. Barrett, who is 48, but looks 53, is a mother of 13 chil…
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The president of CNN stated that there is no one on the face of the earth who knows more intimate secrets about President Trump than Michael Cohen. Cohen knows where all of Trump’s dozens of skeletons are buried, as…
COTTON BALLS, Georgia – (Satire News) – Ku Klux Klan Illustrated magazine is reporting that their membership has gone up by 93% just in the past six months. KKK spokesperson Roy Dell “Bubba” Griddle told KKKI that, thanks to all of the hate-spewin…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Fake News) - The Republican National Convention kicked off in D.C.’s Melonhead Auditorium with semi-fanfare. CNN’s Jake Tapper noted that he has seen more excitement at a pap smear clinic. He noted that Kimberly Guilfoyle an…
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