The Vatican -- Today the Lamb of God, held in various sacred halls by the catholic church for over a millennium and long-presumed to be in a vegetative state, surprised priests and bishops alike when it suddenly came to its feet, took a long look ar...
In a bombshell report first issued just days after the 2016 election and re-emerging today, it looks like Donald J. Trump's presidency is coming to an end. "I've been saying it for two years straight," said several news pundits who have been predi...
Today President Trump has emerged several times from a private office at the White House to attend a water cooler nearby. He then returns to this office, and sounds through the door indicate energetic discussion plus (possibly) furniture thrown.
BILLINGSGATE POST: A newly-released video showing forensic psychiatrist and taxidermist, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, carrying a lampshade out of the Saudi Embassy in Istanbul was released this morning as part of the probe into the disappearance of journa...
WASHINGTON D.C. - In the capital today, Donald Trump has been poking Senator Elizabeth Warren with a stick. "Misogyny gets votes!" Trump screams. "And women are silly because they were too stupid to be born with penises!" Warren took a deep bre...
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Comedians across America have declared a strike. They demand that the news stations resume their duties instead of abdicating their responsibilities to them. Jon Oliver angrily explained, "My job is to make people laugh. If I decide to do something that my audience does not enjoy, they demand a refund. And yet, stations have decided to let idiots lie through their teeth and foam...
I Am Anonymous. The most influential person on the planet! Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I am ubiquitous and omnipresent. I am all-seeing, all-knowing, pre-eminent. There is no topic that I don't know something about, or not willing to be quoted on. I can start wars, topple governments, and bring down presidents. My w...
Apparently, life on the book tour circuit can be a little lonely. Following an appearance on the CNN news show The Lead with Jake Tapper, former FBI director James Comey had had enough of the panel's snarky criticisms and stormed the set. "Ther...
According to CNN, "auto accidents kill too many, we need to ban cars and guns..." After another tragic shooting in our nation, CNN and others are pushing to ban all guns. A talk on gun control between two high school students after the fact was ca...
In more breaking news Trumps.com™ little hands could be facing a senate inquiry after his biographer revealed Trumps hands do all the thinking. Scientists recently revealed the link between excessive teenage masturbation and tiny hands and...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Just days after Snopes, the definitive internet service that decides which stories are fact or fiction, verified that Adolf Hitler was alive and living with his long time mistress, Eva Braun, in Argentina, the service verified tha...
Today, press secretary Sean "Melissa" Spicer, (best known for his irrational and paralyzing fear of young girls from the ages of 2-7, a serious medical condition known as acute pediaphobia), controversially claimed: "Liberal scientists, funded by...
President-Elect Donald Trump's first press conference since his election was, as per the usual, filled with drama and fireworks. A CNN reporter attempted to ask a question concerning a report based on the knowledge of a former British Intelligence o...
President elect, "Rocky Trump", has decided to perform a new version of the seventies Broadway show and film every time he confronts the press! Trump says, "what is the point of being serious standing in front of a bunch of journo baboons who repr...
Robert Ennis, the editor-in-chief of People Magazine released on twitter that the magazine was going to have a category for "worst man alive" at the end of the year. he announced that the winner of this prize would receive a grand prize of $200 and b...
Donald Trump spoke to CNNs Jake Tapper to finally clear up his view on the KKKs endorsement of him. "You want me to disendow David Duke, I disendow him, alright?" Trump's statement actually did little to settle the controversy. When Jake asked Tru...
The field of Democratic presidential hopefuls will face off in their second debate hosted by CBS in one month's time, but thanks to CNN's new predictive model using Bayesian statistics, Markov Chain and a new technique referred to as 'Hyperbole Subte...
Today, on the CNN show, "Today's News," the former head of the CIA, General Michael Hayden, and Harvard Professor of Ethics, Greg Stiles, squared off against one another on the issue of torture. The background of the debate centered on The Senat...
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