The state of Pennsylvania, home of the Amish and birthplace of the pencil, was in the news today as it proved to be a crucial battleground in the US election. President Trump was ahead in early voting, but as early ballots and mail-in votes came in - primarily from Democrat-leaning cities - his lead began to reduce.
"FRAUD!" tweeted Trump, apparently not understanding the concept of vote counting. He had earlier declared victory in a pathetic attempt at a coup, when neither candidate was anywhere close to winning the presidency.
The US President has begun legal proceedings to stop any further vote counting in Pennsylvania, while simultaneously suing the state of Arizona to ensure it doesn't declare until all its votes are counted.
"It's easy to see what he's up to," said a member of Joe Biden's campaign team. "Trying to fool us all into believing that Biden died when we all know he isn't dead yet. We haven't been wheeling around his corpse for the last month like in Weekend at Bernie's."
The Biden campaign were initially worried by Trump's threats of legal action, until they learned that the litigators being sent to Pennsylvania were Rudy Guiliani and Eric Trump.