Mitch McConnell Finally Admits What Everyone Already Knew

Funny story written by Fannin Fabriano

Thursday, 8 October 2020

image for Mitch McConnell Finally Admits What Everyone Already Knew
Bravo's Andy Cohen said that Mitch's wife, Ling Ling, hasn't kissed him in 18 years.

SKUNK SPRAY, Kentucky - (Satire News) – TMZ recently spoke with Senator Addison Michelle McConnell, and the senator revealed what 97% of all Americans already knew.

McConnell, who is 78, but looks 98, finally admitted that yes, he is indeed “Trump’s Bitch”.

He said that, in the world of politics, one has to do what one has to do, in order to stay in office; including kissing asses left and right.

“Moscow Mitch” added that he lost all sense of self-respect years ago, when he used to say that the Kentucky chapters of the KKK, were all just simply good old boys.

The ugly old geezer, who makes buzzard vomit look cute, said that the KKKers are just fellas who love to drink, cuss, shoot the shit, and burn crosses to get rid of the boll weevil infestation.

When McConnell was asked how in the world he can look himself in the mirror, he giggled like a California valley girl, and replied, “It’s easy. I don’t ever look at myself in the mirror.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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