Gun shops across the country have reported a huge surge in the purchase of weapons and ammunition after it was announced on national TV earlier, that President Donald Trump, cruelly struck down with the Coronavirus earlier in the week, is 'out of danger', and well on the way to a full recovery.
Immediately, weapons stores were under siege.
All kinds of firearms were in high demand, from sidearms such as pistols and revolvers, to shotguns and high-powered assault and sniper rifles with telescopic sights.
Particularly popular was the 357 Magnum.
A submachine gun was ordered for a customer in Detroit, and, in Washington, a man bought a selection of hand grenades.
At one shop in New York, a customer asked for a rocket launcher, but these were, unfortunately, out of stock until next week.
The proprietor said that he was expecting a new delivery of the item next Wednesday.
In Chicago, a man enquiring about a helicopter gunship was told to go away and stop being silly.
The President's health has become a major issue in the last few days, with many people, who were expecting the worst leader in US history to be ousted in the November election, and praying he was to perish from the virus, now becoming alarmed that his recovery from illness might attract the 'sympathy vote' from undecided voters.