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Funny satire stories about Guns

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Funny story: Ohio Passes Controversial Gun Rights Law for Schoolchildren

Ohio Passes Controversial Gun Rights Law for Schoolchildren

Ohio’s General Assembly is finally dealing with its discriminatory gun laws. Senator Bob Smith of Ass Backwards County sponsored a new law that extends gun rights to school children. According to Senator Smith a school group in his county petitio…

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Funny story: Texas Governor Names AR-15 As Official State Flower

Texas Governor Names AR-15 As Official State Flower

Austin, Texas - Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced today in a press conference that the Lone Star State will name the AR-15 semi-automatic rifle as the state flower. The assault style weapon replaces the iconic bluebonnet. “Governor?” said a rep…

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Funny story: Marjorie Taylor Greene Has Decided To Sell Her Entire Gun Collection

Marjorie Taylor Greene Has Decided To Sell Her Entire Gun Collection

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Cloud 9 News Agency has just reported that Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene has decided to sell her entire gun collection, which consists of 117 hand guns, 83 semi-automatic weapons, 29 shotguns, 13 derringe…

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Funny story: Survey: 95% of Americans will have accidentally killed each other by 2050

Survey: 95% of Americans will have accidentally killed each other by 2050

A shock investigation by a popular American magazine has revealed that by the year 2050 an incredible 95% of American citizens will have accidentally killed each other through the negligent discharge of firearms. The in-depth analysis comes after…

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Funny story: If You Outlaw Abortions, You Have To Outlaw Guns

If You Outlaw Abortions, You Have To Outlaw Guns

If abortion kills a life and abortion is outlawed, it follows that guns which also kill lives should also be outlawed. Guns are made and sold specifically to kill lives. Since there is a sanctity for a life that requires a microscope to identify,…

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Funny story: Toyota Using Ass-Kicking Taliban in New Ads

Toyota Using Ass-Kicking Taliban in New Ads

Tokyo, Japan - The Toyota Motor Corporation unleashed a new commercial today, marketed towards Authoritarian regimes and Dictators around the globe. The commercial plays heavily on the recent success of the Taliban in Afghanistan. A victory that c…

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Funny story: Firm announces new redesign to their gun toys to be more realistic for American kids

Firm announces new redesign to their gun toys to be more realistic for American kids

The famous toy company that makes fake guns Twerf™ just announced a new redesign for its new models specially made to American kids. "We are excited to show for the first time our redesign to the popular Twerf Guns. Kids don't like fake guns anymo…

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Funny story: Muskets Only Guns Protected By 2nd Amendment: Supreme Court

Muskets Only Guns Protected By 2nd Amendment: Supreme Court

In a minor case that no one thought would reach the high court, the justices today ruled, unanimously, that the only "arms" covered by the Second Amendment of the Bill of Rights are muskets. The decision by a conservative dominated Trump appointed co…

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Funny story: Walmart Announces That All of Their Store Greeters Will Now Be Armed With Glock-9 Handguns

Walmart Announces That All of Their Store Greeters Will Now Be Armed With Glock-9 Handguns

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The biggest retailer in the entire world has just informed the news media that effective immediately, all of their front-of-the-store greeters will be equipped with Glock-9 handguns, which they will have in plain view.

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Funny story: A Kentucky Couple Is Arrested For Shooting Up A Neighbor’s Hummingbird Feeder

A Kentucky Couple Is Arrested For Shooting Up A Neighbor’s Hummingbird Feeder

WOODCHUCK HORMONES, Kentucky – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind is reporting that Tiddly Lee Fogstuffer, 57, and her husband of 29 years, Triscuit “Bubba” Fogstuffer, 52, got so drunk the other night that they went next door and shot up their n…

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Funny story: Other Gun Rights Organizations Put NRA Out of Its Misery

Other Gun Rights Organizations Put NRA Out of Its Misery

“It had to be done.” stated Max Warner of the Americans For The Right To Blow Away Trespassers association when interviewed about the mass annihilation at the NRA Headquarters by other gun rights groups yesterday. “Their day had come and gone. They h…

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Funny story: Biden Announces New Gun Reforms

Biden Announces New Gun Reforms

President Joe Biden has announced sweeping changes to US gun laws in an attempt to halt the rising incidences of police and mass shootings. "All guns will be modified to fire gobs of whipped cream instead of bullets. Like in Bugsy Malone," said t…

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Funny story: Man Fired 'Gun' At Cow's Arse

Man Fired 'Gun' At Cow's Arse

A man who should probably know better at his age, has revealed how, during a motorbike ride to his place of employment this morning, he took aim with a child's plastic 'gun', and fired a tiny stone from it at a cow's behind, scoring a direct hit.

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Funny story: Man Pops A Cap In His Own Ass

Man Pops A Cap In His Own Ass

A man who had been practising for a bank robbery he had been planning, came unstuck earlier today when he had an accident with a loaded gun, and shot himself in his bottom. The incident happened in a field near the home of Ken Moyswood (not real n…

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Funny story: Sales Of Weapons And Ammunition Go Through The Roof After President Trump Rumored To Be 'Out Of Danger'

Sales Of Weapons And Ammunition Go Through The Roof After President Trump Rumored To Be 'Out Of Danger'

Gun shops across the country have reported a huge surge in the purchase of weapons and ammunition after it was announced on national TV earlier, that President Donald Trump, cruelly struck down with the Coronavirus earlier in the week, is 'out of dan…

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Funny story: Redneck Runs on Defund the Police Platform

Redneck Runs on Defund the Police Platform

Wilfred “Bubba Billy” Watson of Pensacola, Florida, whom we heard from before, Florida Man Warns New Yorkers, has announced that he is running as a Democrat for Mayor of Pensacola. He promised that, if elected, he will defund the Pensacola police.

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Funny story: Police called after student gave classmate several slugs to the head

Police called after student gave classmate several slugs to the head

Police were called to Johnston Elementary School after a student allegedly fired several slugs at the back of a classmate's head. 7-year-old Tonya Perkins ran to a teacher saying she was shot several times in the head. When asked who shot her, she...

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