WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – GOPicky Magazine is reporting that President Trump, who has contracted the Coronavirus due to stubbornly refusing to wear a mask, is still wheeling and dealing, but now from his hospital bed.
His doctors report that he has fatigue, fever, tongue warts, and he is coughing up a storm. But the nurses say he is still spewing his damn lies left and right.
POTUS allegedly told his least favorite son, Eric, that he is going to somehow sneak out of the hospital, so that he can attend one of his scheduled campaign hate rallies in Alabama, his favorite state.
The President's enema nurse, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said that the President told her that he is in negotiations with Rupert Murdoch to purchase Fox News.
The nurse got all excited, and asked him if he could give her a job working at the "Fair & Balanced" network.
Donald, ever the flirt, looked at her, told her to spin around, and said that she has nice legs and a nice ass, and that she would certainly fit right in with the Fox News Barbie Dolls.