WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Baltimore Implier Journal is reporting that President Trump is now in quarantine because of the Coronavirus.
Trump told the news media that he has just been tested, and he will release the results of the Covid-19 test after he releases his Income tax returns; which, after almost four years, are still being audited.
The President’s top adviser and alleged inamorata, Hope “The Babe” Hicks, has also tested positive for the Trumpapalooza virus, as millions of Americans refer to it.
Dozens of former White House staff members have said that it is no secret that Donald and Hope, at times, have been closer than spaghetti and meat balls.
The first lady has even told her step-daughter, Ivanka, that, one day, her daddy is going to hand over HALF of all his money to her, and then she, Barron, and Barron's pet woodchuck, will catch the next plane to Slovenia.
GOPicky Magazine is now revealing that Vice-President Pence is saying that he is having cramps in his tongue, as well as in his ear lobes, and his male member.
Meanwhile Las Vegas is starting to take bets on third-in-line Nancy Pelosi becoming President Pelosi before too long.