Where’s Hunter?

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 25 September 2020

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BILLINGSGATE POST: Elvis has been sighted more often than Hunter Biden. He was born with a plastic face and a silver spoon in his mouth. The guy was kicked out of the Navy. Do you know how hard it is to get kicked out of the Navy when your old man is Vice President?

“He ain’t nothin but a hound dog.”

Hunter Biden, the youngest son of Vice President Joe Biden, was probably the oldest Ensign in the Navy, after he was selected for a part-time position as a public affairs officer in the Navy Reserve in 2012. He received a direct commission without having to go to the Naval Academy, Officer Candidate School or NROTC. After less than a year of service, he was discharged because he failed a drug test. At the age of 44, he probably holds the record for being the oldest Ensign to receive an Administrative Discharge, a dubious achievement, especially when your old man is VP.

He was able to bounce back from this temporary setback. From 2014 to 2019 he served on the board of Burisma Holdings, a major Ukrainian natural gas producer. He was being paid $50,000 a month as a board member. That gig was chickenfeed compared to the billions of dollars he was taking out of China. Not bad for a guy just kicked out of the Navy.

Word is, that Hunter is scoping out his next job as custodian of Fort Knox.

Slim: “My old man got me a job scooping turkey sh*t on a turkey ranch outside of town.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. But Hunter has a Law Degree from Yale. You figure it out.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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