Paul The Octopus Predicts Trump Win

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 18 September 2020

image for Paul The Octopus Predicts Trump Win
Paul on a recent tour of the Far East

According to every poll that is worth its salt, a victory for President Trump in the upcoming November election is about as unlikely as a beak on a bison, but experts may have to think again, as the renowned predictor of unlikely things, Paul the Octopus, has indicated Trump will be staying in the White House for another four years.

Paul, who correctly predicted the UK National Lottery winning numbers as well as the results of some football World Cup finals matches in 2010, was thought to be dead and buried, but clearly isn't.

His keepers placed pictures of Trump and his rival, Joe Biden, up against the glass wall of his tank at the Daisy Duke Short Shorts Marine Life Center near Düsseldorf, and Paul moved one of his slithery, greasy, grimy tentacles in the direction of the presiding president, indicating Trump will come out on top on 3 November.

Voters were skeptical at the news.

Many scoffed at the idea of a sea creature going against the odds, and the weight of public opinion, by predicting that a ruthless, insensitive, clownish megalomaniac who can't decipher truth from lies, could possibly prevent ANY rival from taking his place.

One said:

"It's ridiculous!"

But a translator of marine languages said that Paul had replied:

"It's no more ridiculous than Trump being elected in the first place!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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