Trump Confesses He Can’t Win 2020 Election

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 16 September 2020

image for Trump Confesses He Can’t Win 2020 Election
Donald Trump's precinct monitors.

Donald Trump has confessed that he can not win the 2020 election. At least, not honestly. So he condemned mail-in or absentee ballots, which are safe ways to avoid being exposed to the coronavirus. However, both leave a paper trail. Trump doesn't like that paper trail.

Trump also predicted children would steal ballots and write in Biden’s name. There goes another stolen vote to Biden that should have gone to Trump. Children are going to steal the election for Biden.

To further ensure absentee and mail-in voting fail, Trump has sabotaged the US Postal Service. He cut postal workers' hours and did away with rapid mail sorting equipment. He has even gone so far as to remove corner mailboxes.

Now that is a church confession.

And without any shame, Donald Trump has encouraged his voters to vote twice. That's twice, two, 2, 1+1= 2 times. Suggesting that they vote twice and cheat, is another confession that he can't win honestly.

Attorney General William Barr, more or less said voting twice, would be okay. Sure, why not? He said he didn’t see anything wrong with voting twice, yummy, yummy, yummy.

But Attorney General Barr didn’t go so far as to suggest anyone use a disguise like painting on a fake mustache, ladies wear feathered hats with heavy veils, or dress like a truck driver, then vote a second time as a flight attendant. But Barr wants to keep his job, yummy, yummy, yummy.

So save any Halloween costumes, bring them to the voting precinct, do a quick change, and Make America Great Again.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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