NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - President Trump’s former attorney/fixer, Michael Cohen, appeared on "Anderson Cooper's Show" to promote his new tell-all book on the president entitled 'I Know President Donald Trump Better Than Melania, Marla, Ivana, and Stormy All Put Together.'
He was asked if he thought that DJT would get re-elected. Cohen paused and said, "Sure, if he colludes with his Russian puppet master, Vlady Putin, like he did the last time."
Cohen told Cooper that "The Pied Piper of the Potomac’s" base would literally follow him into the mouth of a gurgling volcano.
He said that if Trump told his Trumplodites that 2 plus 2 equals 7, they would all say, in unison, "Hell, dat be close enuff, Master Donald."
Cohen informed Cooper that, in his book, he reveals that the first lady, Melania, had a big crush on White House communications director Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci.
But, like he wrote in chapter 13, Melly felt that if her husband could screw around with Stormy Daniels, Karen McDougal, and 14 other bimbos, then she could play 'hide the salami' with Anthony Scaramucci.