WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Presidential Satire) - A federal judge in Wyoming has denied President Trump’s request to have his voluminous sex records sealed.
Trump’s head attorney, Segundo Juarez, argued that they will fight tooth-and-nail to prevent the President’s sexual exploits from becoming public.
The President's attorney pointed out that no one in the entire country gives a rat's ass about the leader of the free world's sexual prowess.
Juarez went on to say that who Mr. Donald J. Trump poked 5, 10, or 25 years ago is no one’s damn business; not even Melania’s or Ivanka's.
He added that if POTUS wants to let everyone know which intern, or assistant, or secretary he had intimate relations with, then he will simply write a book about it, like his own niece, the soon-to-be-deported Mary Trump has done.