WASHINGTON, D.C. – The man who many say knows dozens of sneaky, underhanded things that President Trump has done will not be going to prison, after all.
In yet another presidential pardon, King Donald the 1st, has just given Roger Stone a 'get out of jail free' card, or rather a 'you don’t have to go to jail' card.
Every newspaper in the USA, and even those in Russia, China, and Nova Scotia, are all reporting that Roger Stone is one very lucky SOB.
Roger the Dodger has certainly dodged getting a prison number, courtesy of his childhood friend, Donnie.
Donald Trump's BFF has just won the 'Non-Monetary' lottery.
It's no secret that POTUS was afraid of what Stone would reveal about him, such as how much money he stole from the White House Petty Cash Fund, or the thousands of counterfeit golf balls he has stashed in a You-Store-It facility in the Bronx.
Stone is also the only person on Earth, who knows that Trump has the name “Stormy” tattooed underneath his tongue.
The President has actually showed it to him on several occasions.
But for now, President Donald J. Trump can once again say, “Whew, that sure was a close one.”