Trump knows he can never receive a Nobel Peace Prize, but thinks he can get his head added to Mount Rushmore. He wants to be up there on the granite with Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Lincoln.
And he announced: Canada will pay for it!
“Wait,” said the U.S. Park Service, “finish the wall you’re trying to build across the Mexican border to keep the Mexicans out, before even thinking about adding your head on Mount Rushmore.
Trump was insistent. No, Trump argued. He believes he will lose the 2020 election, and this will be his final chance to get his head up there on the granite. It has to be finished before the November election, or Biden will cancel it retroactively.
“Just to be mean, because I called him Sleepy Joe, and that’ll be the end of Trump on Mount Rushmore."
Canada’s Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, was asked whether Canada was prepared to foot the bill for Trump’s cliffside granite sculpture to be chiseled in just four months on Mount Rushmore.
Trudeau replied, “Huh? Trump on Mount Rushmore? What bird-brained hockey puck thought of that one? Oh, wait, I understand. No. Canada has absolutely no plans to fund the erection of Trump’s head on Mount Rushmore.”
Trump then turned to Mitch McConnell, telling him to rush an appropriations bill for Trump On Rushmore. Cancel any money going for coronavirus ventilators, masks, hospital beds, and personal protection equipment.
“Tell everybody to start drinking Lysol or Clorox. And if Democrats give you any flak, have Bill Barr arrest them on suspicion of treason! Giuliani can smear them, and Melania can announce her Be Best whatever!
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